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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that children should spend more time doing homework, while others believe that they should spend more time playing and doing activities outside school. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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While
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 many individuals believe that youngsters should spend more
time
Use synonyms
 doing
homework
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, others think that they should take more free
time
Use synonyms
 playing and enjoying
activities
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 outside
school
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. From my perspective,
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
 believe that
children
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 should gain experiences trying new subjects and taking up more hobbies because that may help them to unwind after
school
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. One major reason why communities believe that
children
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 should spend more
time
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 doing assignments and
homework
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 is that it leads to
get
Verb problem
apply
show examples
excellent grades at
school
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.
This
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 is mainly because if youngsters put an effort in their studies and spend a lot of
time
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 doing
homework
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, they will be capable of mastering the
curriculums
Check wording
curriculum
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 and subject and
the
Correct pronoun usage
they
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 may not find it so
much
Rephrase
apply
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hard to follow.
For instance
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, if a group of
children
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 decide that they should have the proclivity to do their
homework
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 and accomplish assignments, they may graduate from primary
school
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 with the highest scores because
if
Change preposition
of
show examples
 their consistency
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 finishing
homework
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.
Consequently
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,
children
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 who are capable of managing their daily
homework
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 may have better chances when it comes to graduating with the best grades.
On the other hand
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, a significant number of people argue that
children
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 should spend more free
time
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 playing and participating in outdoor
activities
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.
This
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 is chiefly because if youngsters have the opportunity to engage in recreational
activities
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, they will be capable of relieving the pressure and stress of
school
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 life.
For example
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, if kids spend hours playing sports or exploring new hobbies with friends, they may develop essential social skills and stay physically active.
Consequently
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,
children
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 who balance their studying with enough playing
time
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 may have better mental health and a more enjoyable childhood.In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
 some individuals believe that focusing heavily on
homework
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 and academic assignments is essential for getting the best grades, others think that
children
Use synonyms
 need more free
time
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 for playing outside. From my perspective,
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
 believe that allowing
children
Use synonyms
 to explore new hobbies and unwind through outdoor
activities
Use synonyms
 is crucial for their
overall
Linking Words
 development alongside their studies.

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task response
You discuss both sides and give your own view clearly. To improve, explain more fully why play can help children in later life, not only help them rest after school.
task response
Your main ideas are clear, but some points repeat. Add one more clear reason for each side. For example, homework can build good study habits, while outdoor play can improve health and make friends.
task response
Your examples fit the topic, but they are very general. Use one short, real-life style example with clear details, such as a child who plays sport twice a week and then returns to study with more energy.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear order: introduction, homework view, play view, and conclusion. Keep using one main idea in each body paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words with care. You use “This is because”, “For instance”, and “Consequently” well, but “Consequently” is used in both body paragraphs in a similar way. Try other simple links, such as “As a result”, “Also”, or “For this reason”.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are too long and have many ideas. Make them shorter so the reader can follow them more easily. Check word order and small grammar errors, such as “it leads to get” and “because if their consistency”.
coherence and cohesion
Use the same word form and capital letters carefully. Write “I” with a capital letter, “subjects” not “subject” after “curriculums”, and “they” not “the” when you mean children.
task response
You answer all parts of the question: you explain both views and give a clear opinion in the introduction and conclusion.
task response
The point about play helping children deal with school stress is clear and relevant. The example about sport, hobbies, friends, and health supports this idea well.
coherence and cohesion
The four-paragraph plan is easy to follow, and each body paragraph stays focused on one side of the discussion.
coherence and cohesion
The conclusion clearly brings the two views together and repeats your own view without adding a new main idea.
Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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