IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people believe today that everyone has a right to access to the Internet and that governments should provide this access for free. Other people believe that access to the internet is not a right and should be paid for like other services. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

6.5 / 9
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Introduction
There is an ongoing debate about whether governments should provide free
Internet
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access
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 for everyone. I believe that
people
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 should have
access
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 to the
internet
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, but it does not mean that the
government
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 should provide it for free.
Body paragraph 1
First of all, some
people
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 believe that everyone should have free
Internet
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access
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 because it has become an essential part of modern life. Nowadays, many jobs are advertised online, and
people
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 can apply for them online.
Therefore
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,
people
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 increasingly rely on the
Internet
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 to search for jobs and apply for positions.
However
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, not everyone can afford
Internet
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access
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, especially
people
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 from low-income households. Without
Internet
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access
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, they may have fewer employment opportunities.
As a result
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, they may find it more difficult to improve their financial situation.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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, some
people
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 think that free
Internet
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access
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 is not a basic right because
government
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 resources are limited. When the
government
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 aims to provide free
Internet
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 for residents, it may require a large amount of funding.
Therefore
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, supporters argue that the
government
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 needs to use its resources wisely and focus on more important issues,
such
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 as education, healthcare services, and public transportation.
Conclusion
To sum up
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, some
people
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 think that
Internet
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access
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 is a basic right,
while
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 others believe that it should be paid for like other services. From my perspective,
although
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Internet
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access
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 plays a key role in searching for jobs, providing it for free should not be a
government
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 priority.
Thus
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, the
government
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 should spend money on more essential public services rather than simply providing free
Internet
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access
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.

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task response
You discuss both views and give a clear opinion. To make your answer stronger, explain more fully why free access is not the best use of public money. For example, say how money for free Internet could reduce money for schools, hospitals, or transport.
task response
Your first main point is clear: Internet access can help people find work. Add one more use, such as online school, health help, or contact with public services. This would show more fully why some people see it as a right.
task response
Use a more real example. You could describe a person with little money who cannot apply for a job because they have no home Internet. Then link this example back to your main point.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear order: introduction, one view, the other view, and conclusion. Keep this plan in future essays.
coherence and cohesion
The links between ideas are clear, but you use “Therefore” and “As a result” many times. Use other simple links too, such as “For this reason”, “Also”, “In this way”, and “However”.
coherence and cohesion
In the second body paragraph, make the link to the other view more direct. Start with a sentence such as: “However, other people say that Internet service is like water or phone service, so users should pay for it.” This makes the change of view smoother.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion repeats your opinion well. You can make it even clearer by adding a short middle way: the state could help poor people pay for Internet, instead of giving it free to all people.
task response
You answer every part of the question: you explain both views and state your own view clearly.
task response
The point about job search is useful and closely linked to the topic. You explain why people with little money may face fewer chances.
coherence and cohesion
Each paragraph has one main idea, and the reader can follow your argument easily.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion clearly show the main direction of your essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • right to access
  • essential resources
  • digital economy
  • social equity
  • government responsibility
  • privately funded infrastructure
  • market dynamics
  • personal responsibility
  • fundamental right
  • user fees
  • innovation
  • economic growth
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