Nowadays many people have access to computers on a wide basis and a large number of children play computer games. What are the positive and negative impacts of playing computer games and what can be done to minimize the bad effects? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.

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Introduction
In today's digital world, people can access a wide range of
computer
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games
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, leading to increased popularity among
children
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.
Although
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these
games
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can have positive impacts on people's essential
skills
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, excessive use of them can
also
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bring about negative consequences. To minimise their adverse side effects, I tend to believe that adopting a balanced approach can be an effective solution.
Body paragraph 1
One of the major advantages of playing
computer
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games
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is that they enable
children
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to improve their essential
skills
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, including critical thinking, problem-solving, creativity, and decision-making. These
skills
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can support
children
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's personal, educational, and professional development.
As a result
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,
computer
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games
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can lay the foundation for
children
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's
overall
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development.
For instance
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, playing chess on computers contributes significantly to cultivating
children
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's cognitive abilities,
such
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as analytical thinking and effective problem-solving,
while
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allowing them to spend quality time with their friends.
Hence
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,
computer
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games
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can play a significant role in improving
children
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's essential life
skills
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.
Body paragraph 2
By contrast
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, excessive reliance on
computer
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games
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can leave
children
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with limited opportunities to participate in other important activities, including going to the gym and socialising.
This
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can not only encourage a sedentary lifestyle but
also
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weaken
children
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's communication
skills
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.
Consequently
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, overuse of
computer
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games
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can pose a threat to
children
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's health and essential
skills
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.
For example
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,
children
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who spend long hours playing
video
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games
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often face serious health issues, including stress, depression, and obesity, which place great pressure on their personal and educational lives.
Thus
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, overuse of
video
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games
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can negatively affect
children
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's
overall
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well-being and social
skills
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.
Conclusion
To sum up
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, from my perspective,
while
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video
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games
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can allow
children
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to cultivate their critical thinking, problem-solving, and decision-making
skills
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, excessive dependence on them can
also
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weaken their social
skills
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and give rise to health problems.
Therefore
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, parents should restrict the time
children
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spend on
video
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games
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and encourage them to take part in other activities to achieve long-term beneficial outcomes.

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task response
Answer all three parts more fully. You explain the good and bad sides well, but the part about how to cut the bad effects is very short. Add clear steps for parents, schools, and game makers.
task response
Give more detail about the good and bad effects. For example, say which games help with thinking, and explain how long game time can harm sleep, study, exercise, and time with family.
task response
Use more real and clear examples. The chess example is useful, but it is only one kind of game. Add an example of a game that helps team work or a case where a child loses sleep after playing late.
coherence and cohesion
Your four-paragraph plan is clear. To make the last body part stronger, give it its own paragraph for solutions, rather than leaving most solutions for the end.
coherence and cohesion
Make links between ideas more exact. Words such as “This” and “these skills” are sometimes broad. Name the idea again when needed, such as “too much screen time” or “less face-to-face talk.”
coherence and cohesion
The same key words appear many times, such as “essential skills” and “overall development.” Use simpler different words, or cut repeated lines, so each paragraph moves forward.
task response
You give a clear main view: games can help children, but too much game time can cause harm. This view stays the same from the start to the end.
task response
Your points are on topic. You cover thinking skills, health, and social life, and you include an example of chess.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is easy to follow. It has a clear start, one paragraph for good effects, one for bad effects, and a final summary.
coherence and cohesion
You use linking words well, such as “Although,” “For instance,” “By contrast,” “Consequently,” and “To sum up.” These help the reader follow your ideas.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • addiction
  • sedentary lifestyle
  • obesity
  • eye strain
  • inappropriate content
  • social skills
  • isolation
  • academic performance
  • time limits
  • parental supervision
  • age-appropriate
  • physical activities
  • digital literacy
  • balanced computer usage
  • excessive gaming
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