IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Many people keep animals in their homes. Discuss the pros and cons of owning a pet for the animals and for society.

2.5 / 9
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Introduction
There is some
arguement
Correct your spelling
argument
 that having
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
animals
Use synonyms
 in their homes will
making
Wrong verb form
make
show examples
 the
pet
Use synonyms
feels
Wrong verb form
feel
show examples
 uncomfortable, which
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
 disagree with.
Body paragraph 1
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
 one hand, owning a
pet
Use synonyms
 can
helping
Wrong verb form
help
show examples
 the
animals
Use synonyms
itself
Fix the agreement mistake
themselves
show examples
 because the owner will
going to
Wrong verb form
apply
show examples
take care of
his
Fix the agreement mistake
their
show examples
 own
pet
Use synonyms
. Grooming, giving
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
food,
take
Wrong verb form
taking
show examples
 the dumb away
all
Punctuation problem
, all
show examples
Linking Words
this thing
Fix the agreement mistake
these things
show examples
 will make the
pet
Use synonyms
more safety
Replace the word
safer
 and
healthy
Replace the word
healthier
 rather
then
Linking Words
 they put in the wild
envirotment
Correct your spelling
environment
.
Body paragraph 2
And
on the other hand
Linking Words
,
Some
Fix capitalization
some
show examples
 people have an issue about owning a
restrictic
Correct your spelling
restrictive
 animal. They said that the
more rare
Replace the word
rarer
 the
animals
Use synonyms
the
Punctuation problem
, the
show examples
 more
it
Fix the agreement mistake
they
show examples
 become a
collectible
Change the spelling
collectable
show examples
 item.
This
Linking Words
 thing
of
Punctuation problem
, of
show examples
course
Punctuation problem
course,
show examples
 is forbidden
espically
Correct your spelling
especially
 for the
animals
Use synonyms
 that have a low breeding rate.
Conclusion
In the conclution, we can not say having
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
pets
its
Verb problem
is
show examples
 a bad
habid
Correct your spelling
habit
 for society. All
animals
Use synonyms
 will have some place for someone who truely love them. Make it
more safe
Replace the word
safer
,
healty
Correct your spelling
healthier
, and can grow their population.

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task response
Answer all parts of the task. You write about good and bad points for animals, but you say very little about society. Add points such as pets giving people company, but also noise, dirt, or danger to other people.
task response
Make your main view clear. Your first line says you do not agree that pets feel bad at home, but the essay should discuss both good and bad sides before giving your own view at the end.
task response
Explain each idea more. For example, say how food, care, and a safe home can help an animal, and explain why rare animals kept as items can be harmed.
task response
Use clear, real examples. You could write about a dog from a shelter, or about people keeping wild animals at home. This will make your ideas easier to understand.
coherence and cohesion
Use a clear four-part plan: introduction, good points, bad points, and conclusion. Give one main idea in each body part.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words in a more exact way. “On the one hand” should introduce one side, and “on the other hand” should introduce the other side. You can also use “For example”, “However”, and “As a result”.
coherence and cohesion
Keep the same subject in each part. The second body part moves from pets in general to rare animals. Start with a clear topic line so the reader knows this is a bad point.
coherence and cohesion
Write full and clear sentences. Some phrases are hard to follow, such as “take the dumb away”. Say exactly what you mean, for example, “clean up the pet’s waste”.
task response
You give a clear good point: owners can give pets food, care, and a safer home.
task response
You also raise an important bad point about rare animals being kept only as items.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, two body parts, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You try to show two sides with “On the one hand” and “on the other hand”, which is a good start.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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