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Writing Samples
Band 5

Your friend is about to move into a new house. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter offer to help him/her to move explain how exactly you can help ask him/her some questions about the new house

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Dear
sheenu
Capitalize the proper name
Sheenu
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, I hope you are doing well. As
i
Fix capitalization
I
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 know you are moving into the new
house
Use synonyms
 next week.
Linking Words
firstly
Capitalize the word
Firstly
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,
many
Punctuation problem
many,
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 many congratulations to you. As
i
Fix capitalization
I
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 am busy next week
on
Change preposition
with
show examples
my job
but
Punctuation problem
, but
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 i will love to help you
in moving
Wrong verb form
move
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to the new place during the evenings. Recently,
i
Fix capitalization
I
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 bought the new truck for my
work place
Correct your spelling
workplace
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 is good enough for
your
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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shifting all the items together. So we will start
from
Change preposition
by
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 packing all the useful
stuffs
Check wording
stuff
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 and
then
Linking Words
 loaded into my vehicle comfortably. After that, we will drive to your new
house
Use synonyms
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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i
Fix capitalization
I
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 will help you to unload the truck as well with you. I want to ask something important to you before going into the new
house
Use synonyms
.
what
Capitalize the word
What
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 is the actual distance from
old
Add an article
the old
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house
Use synonyms
 to
new
Add an article
the new
show examples
house
Use synonyms
.
Change the punctuation
?
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Moreover
Linking Words
, how is the road and traffic on that way
because
Punctuation problem
, because
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this
Linking Words
 information helps us to make plans in advance
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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i
Fix capitalization
I
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 need to estimate how much time we need to spend
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
doing all these tasks. I will wait for your response and see you soon. Enjoy the
last
Linking Words
 moments in your old
house
Use synonyms
 . Lots of love Yours truly Kajal

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task response
You cover all parts of the task: you offer help, say how you can help, and ask about the new house. Add one or two more questions about the house, such as its size or the area near it.
task response
Make your offer more clear and warm. For example: “I would love to help you move after work each evening.”
coherence and cohesion
Your letter has a clear start, middle, and end. Use simple link words like “First”, “Then”, and “Finally” to make the moving plan easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Keep each paragraph on one main point. Put the questions about the house in a short final paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
Use capital letters at the start of sentences and for “I”. This will make the letter look more clear and neat.
coherence and cohesion
For a close friend, use a more friendly ending, such as “Best wishes” or “Lots of love”, instead of “Yours truly”.
task response
You give a useful and clear plan: packing, loading the truck, driving, and unloading.
task response
Your questions about distance, roads, and traffic are helpful because they relate well to the move.
coherence and cohesion
The ideas are in a good order, from your offer of help to the plan and then the questions.
coherence and cohesion
The greeting and warm closing fit a letter to a friend.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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