Some people believe that criminals should be educated and taught new job skills while in prison, whereas others think that prison should strictly be a place of punishment. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Introduction
Some individuals argue that inmates can get an education and
teache
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teach
a new profession in
prison
Use synonyms
,
whiilst
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while
others
concerns
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are concerned
show examples
that jail is a spot of penalty. In my opinion, allowing
prisoner
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prisoners
show examples
to be educated
have
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has
show examples
a beneficial impact.
Body paragraph 1
One of the reasons is to hire
an
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apply
show examples
educated ex-prisoners for vacant positions. After
released
Verb problem
being released
show examples
from
prison
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, a person desperately
crave
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craves
show examples
an
employemnt
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employment
, so for the
goverment
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government
it is a bargain to hire
taught
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tough
show examples
people. Getting a high-quality job after
the
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apply
show examples
prison
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is almost impossible
due to
Linking Words
legal
restictions
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restrictions
show examples
and employers’ reluctance to hire them.
Also
Linking Words
, the lack of any work knowledge and
expierence
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experience
led to the future
unempoloyement
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unemployment
.
For example
Linking Words
, the
prison
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can provide an economic
clasess
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class
and offer a prisoner a job
immedite
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immediately
. The deal is good for both sides, the prisoner gets an education
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
the position he would be likely to secure, and the
prison
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gets a labour force.
Body paragraph 2
However
Linking Words
, others
belive
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believe
that a
prison
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have
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has
show examples
to complete the
origin
Replace the word
original
duty of
punishment
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. The essence of strict rules
are made
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is
show examples
to reform criminals’
attidues
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attitudes
. When people live with
strict
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a strict
show examples
schedule,
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their
show examples
own hierarchy and no access to
education
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education,
show examples
it
is make
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makes
show examples
them feel
penalized
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penalised
show examples
, that what our society wants. The main reason why people want
a
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apply
show examples
cruel conditions for
prisonier
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prisoners
is what they have done.
For example
Linking Words
, a person was killed by a killer who is arrested now, and obviously, the famaly desire the
worth
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worst
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and the longest
punishment
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for him, without access to
happy
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a happy
show examples
future. The
famaly
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family
side wants the
most fair
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fairest
outcome
which
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, which
show examples
may include
the
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apply
show examples
harsh
punishment
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,
such
Linking Words
as a solitary cell.
Conclusion
In
conculsion
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conclusion
, the idea of educating prisoners for future laboure benefint within provude them
a
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with a
show examples
regular life and
thd
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the
harsh system of
punishment
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. I think educated prisoners are more likely to make a good impact on closing workplaces

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task response
Discuss both views in a more even way. The first view has more detail, but the punishment view is short and not fully explained.
task response
Make your own view clear from start to end. Say why job skills can help both the person and the wider public, for example by helping stop more crime.
task response
Use examples that fit your main point. The example about prison giving a job is not clear, because prisons do not usually hire people after they leave.
coherence and cohesion
Use one clear main idea in each body part. Start with the view, explain why people think this, and then give an example.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple words such as 'First', 'Also', 'However', 'For example', and 'As a result'.
coherence and cohesion
Make the last part clear. Restate your view and sum up both sides. Do not add a new idea about workplaces at the end.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are hard to follow because key words are missing or the word order is not clear. Write shorter sentences and check that each sentence has a clear subject and verb.
task response
You address both education and punishment, and you give your own view.
task response
You try to explain why work after prison can be hard to get.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an opening, two main body parts, and a final paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
You use some useful linking words, such as 'For example', 'Also', and 'However'.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general
What to do next:
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