the pie charts below show some employment patterns in Great Britain in 1992

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the pie charts below show some employment patterns in Great Britain in 1992
IELTS Writing Task Chart for the pie charts below show some employment patterns in Great Britain in 1992
The two charts illustrate several
employment
Use synonyms
categories in Great Britain in 1992. Looking at the
overall
Linking Words
structure, it is readily apparent that females and males constituted the highest
proportion
Use synonyms
in
craft
Use synonyms
and similar workers and general
labourers
Use synonyms
, respectively ,
although
Linking Words
both sexes accounted for the smallest
proportion
Use synonyms
in managerial and professional
occupations
Use synonyms
. Female
employment
Use synonyms
categories supervised in
craft
Use synonyms
and similar clerical or related and other manual ,
whereas
Linking Words
the male prevailed in
other-non manual
Correct your spelling
other non-manual
, general
labourers
Use synonyms
and managerial and professional. Focusing on female
employment
Use synonyms
, it is evident that
craft
Use synonyms
and related
occupations
Use synonyms
accounted for the largest
proportion
Use synonyms
, at 31% , followed by general
labourers
Use synonyms
at 29 % and
craft
Use synonyms
or similar
occupations
Use synonyms
at 27 % .
By comparison
Linking Words
, the figures for managerial and
professionals
Correct word choice
professional
show examples
occupations
Use synonyms
were considerably lower , at just 1%. Turning to male
employment
Use synonyms
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
general
labourers
Use synonyms
constituted the largest
proportion
Use synonyms
, at 36 % , followed by
craft
Use synonyms
or similar
occupations
Use synonyms
at 26 % and other non-manual
occupations
Use synonyms
at 24% .
By comparison
Linking Words
, the figures for managerial and professional
occupations
Use synonyms
were considerably lower , at approximately 1 %.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "by comparison".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words employment, proportion, craft, labourers, occupations with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "comparison" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "considerably" was used 2 times.
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