Many students find it difficult to concentrate or pay attention at school. What are the reasons? What could be done? Write an essay giving reasons for your answer and including any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Introduction

In today's rapidly evolving world, many

students

Use synonyms

are unable to concentrate or pay attention at

school

Use synonyms

. I tend to believe that conventional teaching

methods

Use synonyms

and excessive use of digital devices are the primary drivers of

this

Linking Words

issue

Use synonyms

. To address

this

Linking Words

problem, parents and schools should work together to achieve long-term beneficial outcomes.

Body paragraph 1

One of the major reasons for the loss of

students

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concentration

Use synonyms

school

Use synonyms

is that excessive use of screens, particularly at night, may prevent

students

Use synonyms

from tracking time.

As a result

Linking Words

, they cannot sleep enough, making them sleepy at

school

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and reducing their

concentration

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. Another contributing factor to

this

Linking Words

issue

Use synonyms

is that conventional teaching

methods

Use synonyms

may reduce

students

Use synonyms

' engagement and motivation to focus on lessons.

For instance

Linking Words

, in developing countries

such

Linking Words

as Iran,

due to

Linking Words

overreliance on memorising vocabulary, many

students

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find it difficult to learn English.

This

Linking Words

has given rise to

students

Use synonyms

ignoring

this

Linking Words

lesson.

Thus

Linking Words

, overdependence on traditional teaching

method

Check wording

methods

show examples

and excessive screen time play a crucial role in declining

students

Use synonyms

concentration

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school

Use synonyms

Body paragraph 2

To tackle

this

Linking Words

issue

Use synonyms

, parents should encourage their children to use digital devices more responsibly and impose restrictions on the time children spend on online platforms. These measures can lead to a balanced lifestyle, supporting

students

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' educational development. Schools should

also

Linking Words

adopt modern teaching

methods

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, increasing

students

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' engagement and interest in studying subjects.

For example

Linking Words

, teaching the English language by using podcasts can improve

students

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' speaking and listening skills

while

Linking Words

allowing them to enjoy learning English.

Body paragraph 3

Linking Words

Capitalize the word

show examples

sum up, from my perspective, traditional teaching

methods

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and the overuse of screens are the main reasons for reducing

students

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concentration

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school

Use synonyms

. To tackle

this

Linking Words

issue

Use synonyms

, parents should encourage

students

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to become more responsible screen users, and

Use synonyms

school

Add an article

the school

show examples

Conclusion

should replace conventional teaching

methods

Use synonyms

with modern ones.

m.hadavi20

Oct 11, 2026

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task response

You answer both parts of the question: you give reasons and ways to help. Add one more clear reason or explain each reason more fully, so your ideas feel more complete.

task response

Your example about English lessons in Iran is useful. Make the link clearer: say that when lessons are only about memory, students may feel bored and stop paying attention.

task response

Your solutions match the reasons well. Explain how schools can use new ways in more detail, for example group work, short tasks, or class talks.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay has a clear order: introduction, reasons, solutions, and ending. This makes it easy to follow.

coherence and cohesion

Use clearer links between ideas. For example, use "First", "Second", "As a result", and "For this reason" to show how one idea leads to the next.

coherence and cohesion

Make the ending a full final paragraph. Start with "To sum up" using a capital letter, and do not split the last sentence across two lines.

coherence and cohesion

Keep key words the same where possible. You use "conventional teaching methods", "traditional teaching methods", and "modern ones". This is good, but repeating one clear phrase can make the writing easier to follow.

task response

You give two clear causes: too much screen use and old teaching ways. You also give a practical answer for each cause.

task response

The ideas about sleep, screen use, and student interest are relevant to the topic.

coherence and cohesion

Each main paragraph has one clear job: the first explains causes, and the second gives solutions.

coherence and cohesion

You use helpful linking words such as "As a result", "For instance", and "Thus".

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

5.5

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

292 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

concentration
attention span
distractions
technology
boredom
tiredness
engagement
learning disabilities
teaching techniques
classroom size
family issues
health problems
motivational strategies

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Many students find it difficult to concentrate or pay attention at school. What are the reasons? What could be done? Write an essay giving reasons for your answer and including any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

These days more fathers stay at home and take care of their children while mothers go out to work. What could be the reason for this? Is it a positive or negative development?

Some people think that children are having too much free time and this time should be used to study more. To what extent do you agree with this statement

Crime rate in most countries is often higher in urban areas than rural areas. why do you think that is? what can be done to reduce crime rate?