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Writing Samples
Band 5

Social Media Some people believe that social media has a positive effect on society, while others think it has a negative effect. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Introduction
Nowadays,
internet
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the internet
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 plays a significant role in modern society. Some
individual
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individuals
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 believe that it has a positive impact on public lives,
while
Linking Words
 others argue that it creates various problems. In my opinion, it has both advantages and disadvantages, but its benefits are greater when
person
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a person
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usage
Replace the word
uses
 it responsibly.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand, social television facilitates communication between
population
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the population
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. Individuals can share information, exchange ideas, and maintain relationships with friends and family members who live far away. It
also
Linking Words
 provides valuable educational opportunities, and students can access useful learning materials online. When family adoption social news for educational purposes, they can enhance their knowledge and develop new skills.
Moreover
Linking Words
, businesses can promote their products through social
communications
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media
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, and
this
Linking Words
 can increase their sales and attract more customers.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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, excessive handling of social
cable
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media
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 can have negative consequences. Many
society
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societies
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 spend hours watching videos and scrolling through posts, so they waste valuable time.
Although
Linking Words
 social announcement provides entertainment,
it
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they
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 can reduce productivity and distract students from their studies.
Furthermore
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, some users compare their lives with those of others, and
this
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 may damage their self-confidence. If
crowd
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the crowd
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 share personal information carelessly, they may
also
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 become victims of online scams or privacy violations.
Body paragraph 3
In my opinion, social publishing is a beneficial tool when
nation service it wisely
Correct word order
used wisely in national service
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.
Although
Linking Words
 it can create problems, users can minimise these risks by limiting their screen time and protecting their personal information. Parents should
also
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 guide children, and schools should educate students about responsible internet
appliance
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use
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.
Conclusion
In conclusion, social news offers significant benefits, but it
also
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 creates certain challenges. I believe that responsible exercise can maximise its advantages and minimise its negative effects on society.

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task response
Discuss both sides in a more even way. The good side is clear, but the bad side could explain more clearly how social media harms people and society.
task response
Give one or two real, clear examples. For example, say how a student can use a study group online, or how false posts can cause fear.
task response
Make your own view more direct. Say that social media is mostly good only when people use it with care, and explain why this point is stronger.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear start, two main body parts, your view, and an end. Keep this shape, but make each paragraph focus on one main idea.
coherence and cohesion
Use the same key words all through the essay. Do not change “social media” to phrases such as “social television”, “social cable”, or “social publishing”. These phrases are unclear and make the ideas hard to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Use joining words with care. Words such as “On the one hand”, “On the other hand”, “Moreover”, and “Furthermore” are used well, but do not join too many full ideas with “and” in one sentence.
coherence and cohesion
Make links between ideas more clear. For example, after saying people waste time, explain that this can lead to less work, poor study, or less time with family.
task response
You answer all parts of the question: you discuss good and bad effects and give your own view.
task response
Your main ideas are on topic, such as keeping in touch, learning online, time loss, low self-belief, and privacy risk.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is easy to follow because the body paragraphs are clearly set out by good and bad effects.
coherence and cohesion
The ending sums up your main view and gives a useful way to reduce harm.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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