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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

One of the biggest problems facing the world today is growing enough food to feed the ever-expanding population. Genetically Modified foods are the best way to solve this issue. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Introduction
The
issue
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 of the biggest problems facing the world today is growing enough
food
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 to feed the ever-expanding
poplution
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population
 has sparked considerable debate in recent years.Some people believe that
the
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apply
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genetically modified
foods
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 are the best
way
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 to solve
this
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issue
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,
while
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 others argue that there is no
way
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 to solve
this
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issue
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.
This
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 essay will examine both
perspecives
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perspectives
 before offering my own opinion.
Although
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 both arguments have their merits ,I firmly believe that
the
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apply
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genetically modified
foods
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 are the best
way
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 to solve
this
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issue
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.
Body paragraph 1
On one hand,those who advocate that genetically modified
foods
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 are the best
way
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 to solve
this
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issue
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 argue that people can provide a huge
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number
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amount
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 of
food
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 if they use the genetically modified
foods
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method
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.The main reason is that
this
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method
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 can produce
food
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easly
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easily
 and
fastly
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quickly
.
This
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method
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 not only
provide
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provides
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 a huge
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number
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amount
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 of
food
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,but
also
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 can increase the economy of the country because of the strong
agriculture
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agricultural
 sector of the country.
For instance
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,if a city produces a large
number
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 of crops,the city will have a strong economy.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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,many who hold the belief that there is no
way
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 to solve the
issue
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 of growing enough
food
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 to feed the ever-expanding
poplution emaphasise
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population emphasise
 that people can not use
the
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apply
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way
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 of genetically modified
foods
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 because it might be a dangerous
method
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 ,and it might
theart
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threaten
 people`s lives.The main reason is that the people`s health might affect of the
chemicals
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chemical
 methods.
For example
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,if a human eats
food
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,
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apply
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which scientists
change
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have changed
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 its genes,the human`s body might be affected in a bad
way
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the
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in the
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 future.
Conclusion
To sum up
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,
while
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 there are valid arguments on both sides,I firmly believe that
the
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apply
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genetically modified
food
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are
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is
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 the best
way
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 to solve
this
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issue
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.The reasons outlined above clearly demonstrate that it
provide
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provides
show examples
 a huge
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number
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amount
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 of
food
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 and it
increase
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increases
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 the economy of the country.

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task response
Give a clearer answer to the question. You say GM food is the best way, but you also spend a full paragraph on the idea that there is no way to solve the problem. Explain why GM food is better than other ways, such as less food waste, better farm tools, or growing more kinds of food.
task response
Develop each main idea more. In the first body paragraph, explain how GM crops may grow faster, need less water, or survive plant disease. Then show how this leads to more food for people.
task response
Use more real and clear examples. A city with many crops is too general. You could write about a crop that can grow in dry land, so farms can produce food even when there is little rain.
task response
Be careful with the health point. Do not only say that GM food may harm people. Explain that this is a worry for some people, then state that strict tests and rules can help keep food safe.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, two body paragraphs, and an ending. However, the second body paragraph does not fully match your main view. Make it a paragraph about a limit of GM food, then explain why you still support its use.
coherence and cohesion
Make the links between ideas clearer. Use simple links such as “As a result”, “For this reason”, and “However”. Also, do not repeat “The main reason is” in every paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
Keep one main idea in each paragraph. Start with a clear topic sentence, explain it, give one example, and then link it back to feeding more people.
coherence and cohesion
Check key word forms and sentence parts. For example, write “provide a large amount of food”, “produce food easily and quickly”, “people’s health may be affected”, and “in the future”.
task response
You answer the question and clearly state your own view in both the introduction and the ending.
task response
You include two reasons for your view: GM food may increase food supply and may help farm income.
coherence and cohesion
The essay follows a clear basic plan: introduction, two body paragraphs, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You use linking words such as “On one hand”, “On the other hand”, and “To sum up” to guide the reader.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • growth
  • food
  • population
  • genetically modified
  • solution
  • produce
  • crops
  • land
  • resistant
  • pests
  • diseases
  • pesticides
  • weather
  • conditions
  • farmers
  • climate change
  • health
  • risks
  • environmental
  • effects
  • economic
  • considerations
  • seeds
  • expensive
  • access
  • smaller
  • poorer
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