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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

You recently received a gift from a friend. Write a letter to your friend. Thank your friend for the gift. Explain why you like it. Invite your friend to visit you.

5.5 / 9
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Dear Ali, I hope you are doing well. Thanks for your gifts. I really appreciate it; it's one of my favourites.
First,
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I liked your gift for many reasons
:
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;
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 it reminds me of our time in primary school and helps me feel optimistic in difficult situations.
Second,
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would you like to come to my 30th birthday at 7:00 pm at Asia Restaurant? So we can tag along and have an enjoyable time discussing, watching movies, and sharing our experience at the
last
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 marathon.
Finally
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, I hope to hear from you soon Best wishes, Saif

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task response
Say what the gift is. This will make your thanks and reasons more clear.
task response
Explain your reasons in a more direct way. For example, say how you use the gift or how it makes you feel.
task response
Ask your friend to visit your home too, not only to come to your birthday meal.
task response
Use 'gift' when there is one gift, not 'gifts'.
coherence and cohesion
Your letter has a clear start, middle, and end. Keep this good order.
coherence and cohesion
Make the link to the birthday more clear: say it is part of the visit you are asking for.
coherence and cohesion
Use short, clear sentences. For example, replace 'So we can tag along' with 'We can spend time together'.
coherence and cohesion
Add a full stop after 'soon' before your closing.
task response
You thank your friend, give reasons for liking the gift, and invite your friend to an event.
coherence and cohesion
The greeting and closing are warm and fit a letter to a friend.
coherence and cohesion
Words such as 'First', 'Second', and 'Finally' help the reader follow your ideas.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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