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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

the graph below shows the number of tourists visiting a particulat carribean island between 2010 and 2017. summarise the informattion by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparison where relevant

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the graph below shows the number of tourists visiting a particulat carribean island between 2010 and 2017. summarise the informattion by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparison where relevant
The line graph provides key information about the
figures
Check wording
number
show examples
 of
tourists
Use synonyms
 visiting a specific Caribbean
island
Use synonyms
 in the period between 2010 and 2017. The units are measured in
millions
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is clear from the line graph that the
visitors
Check wording
number of visitors
show examples
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the
island
Use synonyms
 were few, but
then
Linking Words
 the
numbers
Check wording
number
show examples
 of
tourists
Use synonyms
 started to increase.
Also
Linking Words
, the graph shows that the
tourists
Use synonyms
 were divided into two types
,
Punctuation problem
:
show examples
 some of them
staying
Wrong verb form
stayed
show examples
 on cruise ships, and the rest
staying
Wrong verb form
stayed
show examples
 on
Use synonyms
island
Add an article
the island
show examples
. The number of
tourists
Use synonyms
 who stayed on
Use synonyms
island
Add an article
the island
show examples
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 about 1
Use synonyms
millions
Check wording
million
show examples
 in 2010, but
then
Linking Words
 the rates sharply rose
reaching
Punctuation problem
, reaching
show examples
its
Fix the agreement mistake
their
show examples
 peak in 2013. But, the numbers showed a slight decrease in 2016 and
then
Linking Words
 started to return to
became
Wrong verb form
become
show examples
 1.5
Use synonyms
millions
Check wording
million
show examples
 in 2017.
Whereas
Linking Words
, visitors staying on the Caribbean
island
Use synonyms
 were under 0.5
Use synonyms
millions
Check wording
million
show examples
 in 2010.
However
Linking Words
, the figures significantly
increase
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
 between 2013
till
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 2017. The highest number of
tourists
Use synonyms
 was in
2017
Punctuation problem
2017,
show examples
 almost 2
Use synonyms
millions
Check wording
million
show examples
.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words tourists, island, millions with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "numbers of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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