IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Many students graduate from high school and wish to continue their studies in another country. Give the advantages and disadvantages of studying overseas.

5.5 / 9
Band scoreView breakdown ↓
✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic →
Introduction
Studying in another country is a dream for many
students
Use synonyms
. It offers an amazing chance to learn and grow, but it
also
Linking Words
 comes with some difficulties.
This
Linking Words
 essay will examine the main advantages and disadvantages of studying overseas.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand, there are numerous advantages to studying in another country.
First,
Linking Words
they learn many new skills. Learning new skills can make their lives better.
For example
Linking Words
, they can become independent in a very short time.
Second,
Linking Words
studying overseas allows
students
Use synonyms
 to meet new friends.
Therefore
Linking Words
, meeting a new friend is like visiting a new world. They can
also
Linking Words
 learn a new culture from their new friendships.
Finally
Linking Words
, people who study abroad get a better chance of employment. They have a very impressive and strong resume.
Moreover
Linking Words
, their global network has been greatly expanded.
Body paragraph 2
However
Linking Words
,
on the other hand
Linking Words
, there are
also
Linking Words
 some disadvantages to studying in another country.
First,
Linking Words
it is very expensive. They have to pay for everything, including bills and transportation.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
students
Use synonyms
 might face many financial problems away from home.
Second,
Linking Words
living alone is very hard. Many
students
Use synonyms
 can feel homesick because of the pressure and staying alone most of the time.
As a result
Linking Words
, their grades might drop.
Finally
Linking Words
, studying overseas is a busy life. They struggle to balance study and daily tasks.
For instance
Linking Words
,
students
Use synonyms
 have to cook, clean, and do their work all by themselves.
Conclusion
In conclusion, it is clear to see that studying abroad allows for unlimited advantages.
However
Linking Words
, it
also
Linking Words
 presents some disadvantages.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
students
Use synonyms
 should think carefully about the pros and cons before making
this
Linking Words
 big decision.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
You answer both parts of the task. To make your ideas stronger, explain each main point in more depth. For example, say how living in a new place helps students become independent, or how a high cost can affect their study.
task response
Some points are too general. “Learning new skills can make their lives better” does not clearly show which skills or why they matter. Use clear points such as managing money, speaking another language, and solving daily problems.
task response
Use more real examples. Instead of only saying that students pay for bills and transport, give one short example of a student who works part time and has less time for study.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, two main body parts, and an ending. Keep this plan, but make the link between each point smoother with words such as “also”, “because”, “as a result”, and “for this reason”.
coherence and cohesion
Make each paragraph follow one clear pattern: state the point, explain it, then give an example. This will help the reader follow your ideas more easily.
coherence and cohesion
Be careful with repeated words and ideas. You use “new” many times in one part. You can join some short sentences so the writing flows better.
task response
You give clear advantages, such as independence, new friends, and work chances, as well as clear problems, such as cost, homesickness, and daily work.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is easy to follow. The opening tells the reader what you will discuss, and the ending gives a clear final view.
coherence and cohesion
Words such as “On the one hand”, “However”, “For example”, and “Finally” help show the order of your ideas.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: