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Band 6

The table below gives information about management positions held by women in a European country in 2006.

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The table below gives information about management positions held by women in a European country in 2006.
The given table compares the
percentage
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 of management roles
help
Verb problem
held
show examples
 by females in
four
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 different
industries
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 in a specific EU nation in 2006.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
managers
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 had the highest
percentage
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 in
hospitality
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,
while
Linking Words
executives
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 showed
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
dominance in IT. It is
also
Linking Words
 evident that
managers
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 had an average
proportions
Check wording
proportion
show examples
 in
four
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industries
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,
whereas
Linking Words
Use synonyms
ceos
Capitalize the proper name
CEOs
show examples
 in three out of
four
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industries
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 had an average proportion in
hospitality
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. In detail, in 2006, the share of
managers
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 in finance accounted for 16.4%, compared with 4.6% for
executives
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.
However
Linking Words
, there was a dramatic
differnece
Correct your spelling
difference
 of 7
percentage
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 points between
managers
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 and
executives
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 in terms of manufacturing, at 9% and 2%, respectively.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
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ceos
Capitalize the proper name
CEOs
show examples
 in two out of
four
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 figures had the lowest
percentage
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, at 2% and 1.2%, respectively.
Following
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 trend, the remaining
industries
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 in 2006
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 were IT and
hospitality
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.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
managers
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 represented 16.04%
while
Linking Words
making
Punctuation problem
, making
show examples
 it the highest in IT.
Similarly
Linking Words
, there was a slight difference of 5
percentage
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 points between
executives
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 and
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ceos
Capitalize the proper name
CEOs
show examples
 in terms of IT, at 13% and 7%, respectively. The
last
Linking Words
 figure was
hospitality
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 with 33.1% for
managers
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 and 20.6% for
Use synonyms
ceos
Capitalize the proper name
CEOs
show examples
,
whereas
Linking Words
 only 20% for
executives
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.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas, while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, four, industries, managers, hospitality, executives, ceos with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "compares" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportions" was used 2 times.
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