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Band 6.5

Some people believe that universities should focus on providing students with the skills they need for employment. Others argue that the main purpose of university education is to develop knowledge and encourage intellectual growth. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Introduction
It is often argued that
universities
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 should prioritise preparing
students
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 for the workplace,
while
Linking Words
 others believe that higher
education
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 should primarily promote knowledge and intellectual development.
Although
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 practical training is essential for
graduates
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 entering an increasingly competitive job market, I believe that
universities
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 should place equal emphasis on developing
students
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' intellectual abilities.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand, equipping
students
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 with employment-related skills can significantly improve their career prospects. Many employers expect
graduates
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 to demonstrate practical competence rather than merely possess academic qualifications.
For example
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, engineering
students
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 who gain experience in programming, laboratory experiments and collaborative projects are likely to adapt more quickly to professional environments.
Furthermore
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, incorporating practical training into university courses can reduce the gap between academic learning and workplace expectations, allowing
graduates
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 to contribute effectively from the beginning of their careers.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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,
universities
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 have a broader responsibility than simply preparing individuals for employment. Higher
education
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 provides an environment in which
students
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 can question established ideas, evaluate evidence and develop independent perspectives. These abilities are particularly valuable in a world where technological advances continually transform existing professions.
For instance
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,
while
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 specific programming languages may become outdated, the capacity to analyse complex problems and acquire new knowledge remains relevant throughout an individual's career.
Consequently
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, an
education
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 centred exclusively on immediate employment needs may leave
graduates
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 less prepared for long-term changes.
Body paragraph 3
In my view, the most effective university
education
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 combines practical preparation with intellectual development. Rather than treating these objectives as competing priorities, institutions should design courses that integrate theoretical understanding with real-world applications. Engineering programmes,
for example
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, can encourage
students
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 to investigate scientific principles
while
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 applying them to practical challenges.
Such
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 an approach would produce
graduates
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 who are not only employable but
also
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 adaptable, innovative and capable of contributing to society beyond their professional responsibilities.
Conclusion
In conclusion,
although
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 employment preparation is an important function of
universities
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, intellectual development is equally essential. A balanced approach would
therefore
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 provide
students
Use synonyms
 with both the practical skills required for their initial careers and the broader abilities necessary for lifelong learning.

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task response
Your view is clear: both aims matter, and they should have equal place. To make it even stronger, explain more clearly how a school can give equal time to job skills and deep learning in one course.
task response
Your main ideas are well developed. You could add one more clear example from a different subject, such as health, art, or business, to show that your point works in many fields.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear four-part shape: an opening, two sides, your view, and an ending. Each paragraph has one main point, so it is easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Your linking words, such as “On the one hand”, “Furthermore”, “Consequently”, and “In conclusion”, guide the reader well. For an even more natural flow, use a few links that show the direct tie between one idea and the next, such as “This means that” or “As a result”.
coherence and cohesion
The last paragraph repeats your main view well. You could make the first sentence of that paragraph more direct by stating the exact balance you support before giving the engineering example.
task response
You discuss both views in a fair way and give your own clear view throughout the essay.
task response
The examples about engineering, programming, and change at work are relevant and help explain your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Ideas move in a clear order, and the reader can easily see why each paragraph is there.
coherence and cohesion
The opening and ending match well: both show that job skills and wider learning should work together.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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