The chart below shows the average time UK workers spent travelling to work and their methods of transportaiton in 2009.

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Both the pie and bar charts provide information about the
percentage
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of workers choosing their method of commuting and its typical duration.
Overall
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, the highest
percentage
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of
UK
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workers commute for a short duration,
while
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the majority of individuals choose to travel to work by car. The pie chart illustrates the
percentage
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of average commuting of
UK
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employees, and a figure of 42 percent represented people travelling in 1 or 15
minutes
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, which is the highest number in the chart. The closest figure to it stood employees who commute to work in 16-30
minutes
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, and the rest of the workers commute to the job in 31-45
minutes
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, both of them stood at 33% and 12%, respectively,
while
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the remaining small group of employees were below 10% who travel 60+
minutes
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. The bar chart illustrates the methods of travelling in London and the rest of the
UK
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. The highest
percentage
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was related to cars and outside London , which stood at 71%, and the rest of the
UK
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didn't choose other methods, remaining below 10 per cent. London had the same situation with cars
but
Punctuation problem
, but
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in a lower figure, which stood at 35%,
while
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other methods were insignificant, standing under the 20%.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, uk, minutes with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "illustrates" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stood" was used 5 times.
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