IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Space exploration is much too expensive and the money should be spent on more important things. Q: What is your opinion?

2.5 / 9
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Introduction
It has been
obsearved
Correct your spelling
observed
 that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
space
Use synonyms
 exploration
cost
Correct subject-verb agreement
costs
show examples
 a huge
number
Check wording
amount
show examples
,
due to
Linking Words
 make people angry for spending a lot of
money
Use synonyms
 in
space
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
.
show examples
 I firmly agree with changing our
way on
Check wording
apply
show examples
spending
money
Use synonyms
.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand, so company focuse in spending more
money
Use synonyms
 to explore
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
space
Use synonyms
, but
there
Use the right word
their
show examples
 main reason is
to econmey
Replace the word
economic
 growth for
there
Use the right word
their
show examples
 company
,
Punctuation problem
. Furthermore
show examples
furthermore
Linking Words
, to get more views by sharing new topics about
space
Use synonyms
, and they will get what they want,
beacause
Correct your spelling
because
 people
always
Verb problem
are always
show examples
intresting
Correct your spelling
interested
 in
space
Use synonyms
 topics.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there is many important thing in the world we can focuse on,
for Example
Linking Words
, health if we spend a large number to care about socitey health, and find the perfect doctors, to reduce illnesses,
Moreover
Linking Words
, we can spend
money
Use synonyms
 on education, to make the future raise with smart students, and we can let all the world travel to our countrey to study in our colleage.
Conclusion
To conclude
Linking Words
 our discussion, I totally agree with
find
Wrong verb form
finding
show examples
 another way of spending
money
Use synonyms
, if we try to
focuse
Correct your spelling
focus
 on important staff and
development
Replace the word
develop
 our public, it
more
Verb problem
is more
show examples
 important than spending
money
Use synonyms
 on
space
Use synonyms
.

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task response
State your view in one clear sentence at the start. Say that you agree, but explain why money for space should go to health, schools, or poor areas.
task response
Your first main part is not clear. It talks about companies, money, and views, but it does not show why space work is less important. Make each main part support your view.
task response
Give more full support for each idea. For health, explain that more money can help build hospitals, buy drugs, and help sick people. For schools, explain how it can help children get better jobs.
task response
Use real or clear made-up examples. For example, money for one space trip could help a town build a new hospital or give books to many schools.
coherence and cohesion
Use a simple four-part plan: start with your view, write one part about health, write one part about education, then end by restating your view.
coherence and cohesion
Start each body part with a clear main idea. For example: "First, public health needs more money." Then explain it and give an example.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words with care: "First", "Also", "For example", "As a result", and "In conclusion". Do not use "On the one hand" unless you also give the other side clearly.
coherence and cohesion
Keep one idea in each sentence. Some sentences are hard to follow because too many ideas are put together. Write shorter sentences with clear meaning.
task response
You clearly give your own view and stay on the topic from start to end.
task response
You choose two important areas, health and education, which are useful reasons for your view.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, two main parts, and an ending.
coherence and cohesion
You try to use linking words such as "On the one hand", "Moreover", and "To conclude".
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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