Some people think certain prisoners should be made to do certain unpaid work instead of being put behind the bars. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Introduction
In today's world, crime has become an important topic of discussion. Some
people
Use synonyms
argue that
prisoners
Use synonyms
should do unpaid work,
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
disagree with
this
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idea because of several reasons.
This
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essay will discuss why jail is more functional than doing certain unpaid work and why
the
Correct article usage
apply
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jail
include
Correct subject-verb agreement
includes
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less damage than slavery.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand, there are several reasons why jails provide a new pathway for
people
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who are mistaken rather than punishing them for their faults.
Firstly
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, educational programmes help
prisoners
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to discover and apply their time by doing new activities and forget their
recent
Correct word choice
past
show examples
plans.
For instance
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, every year, there are more than ten thousand Algerian
prisoners
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graduates inside the prison and start new lives as professional workers or university students.
Secondly
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, authorities should separate criminals and their network using new methods that will provide acceptance for a positive life change for them.
For example
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, norway government provides a relaxing atmosphere for
prisoners
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, it gives them new life facilities,
such
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as food and occupies their rooms with
tv
Capitalize the proper name
TV
show examples
, PlayStation, and using smartphones is permitted.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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, another important argument is that studying and relaxing in prison is more helpfull rather than getting punished by volunteering because it violates their rights,
in other words
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, poor
people
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get scammed by carrying drugs throughout airports and
then
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judged to be world criminals respectively. Adolfo Suarez Airport in madrid, spain sees more than twenty smuggling cases per day. The police at the airport catch poor smugglers; they declare to investigators that an unknown person paid for the ticket price and gave them backpacks for a benefit equal to one year's salary in their country. These cases grab
individuals
Check wording
individuals'
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prisons and after a long period, investigators discover some presoners innocents,
then
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the case is switched to get paid for the missed years in prison.
For instance
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, David Mark American was in kansas city jail, he waited for 25 years to prove his innocence.
Conclusion
In conclusion,
i
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I
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strongly believe that jails are places where
people
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correct their thoughts, cut bad networks,
while
Linking Words
working for freedom is an agreement to go back to slavery.

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task response
State your view more clearly in the first paragraph. You say you disagree, but explain which prisoners you mean and why unpaid work is not right for them.
task response
Answer the key part of the question: unpaid work instead of prison. Your essay talks more about life in prison than about how unpaid work could work, who could do it, and why it should not replace prison.
task response
Make each main idea clear and keep it on the same point. The first body paragraph should show why prison is better. The second should show why unpaid work may be unfair or unsafe.
task response
Use examples that directly prove your ideas. The examples about Norway and people who carry drugs need a clearer link to unpaid work instead of prison.
task response
Be careful with very strong claims such as unpaid work being slavery. Explain the difference between forced work and safe community work under clear rules.
coherence and cohesion
Use a simple plan: introduction, one reason prison is needed, one reason unpaid work can be unfair, and conclusion. This will make your view easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Start each body paragraph with one clear main sentence. Then give an explanation and one example. Do not add several new ideas in the same long sentence.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple words such as 'First', 'Also', 'However', 'For example', and 'Therefore'. Make sure each link shows the real connection between the ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Keep the same words for key ideas. Use 'prisoners', 'prison', and 'unpaid work' rather than changing to unclear words such as 'working for freedom'.
coherence and cohesion
Check sentence breaks and capital letters. For example, begin 'I' with a capital letter, and do not join two full sentences only with a comma.
task response
You give a clear overall view and keep this view in the conclusion.
task response
You try to use real examples, which shows an effort to support your points.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You use some useful signpost words, such as 'Firstly', 'Secondly', 'For example', and 'In conclusion'.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general
Topic Vocabulary:
  • rehabilitation
  • incarceration
  • recidivism
  • reintegration
  • community service
  • work ethics
  • exploitation
  • decongest
  • taxpayer
  • correctional facility
  • unpaid labor
  • safety concerns
  • constructive activity
  • underlying issues
  • restorative justice
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