IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people feel that government should take a large proportion of people's salaries to pay for necessary public services such as roads and school. Other feel that high taxes are a bad thing. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Introduction
More and more
people
Use synonyms
 around the world think that the
country
Use synonyms
 should
put
Verb problem
impose
show examples
 high
taxes
Use synonyms
from
Change preposition
on
show examples
 individuals' income
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
 public services,
while
Linking Words
 other
people
Use synonyms
 disagree. From my perspective, both opinions are equally important; the
amount
Use synonyms
 of
taxes
Use synonyms
 paid and the improvement of public
facilities
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 are the crucial factors.
Body paragraph 1
First of all, the negative aspect of paying
taxes
Use synonyms
 is the
amount
Use synonyms
, which is determined by the government. The main reason is that the
country
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 should focus on other income resources to fund these projects
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as petrochemicals or manufacturing.
This
Linking Words
 leads
high
Change preposition
to high
show examples
taxes
Use synonyms
to be
Wrong verb form
being
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 reduced to an acceptable level. A study conducted in 2025 by Melbourne University concluded that 45%
taxes
Use synonyms
 in the US are enough to build convenient
facilities
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.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 is how focusing on other projects helps the government in reducing tax rates.
Body paragraph 2
In addition
Linking Words
, there is a segment who are convinced that enough money is essential to reach a high quality of public
facilities
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. The main factor is that
this
Linking Words
amount
Use synonyms
 of money cannot be obtained from private sector companies.
This
Linking Words
 means that the
country
Use synonyms
 periodically gets the needed
taxes
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 from local individuals.
This
Linking Words
 can be seen when
people
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 see the convenient public parks and buildings in any European
country
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.
As a result
Linking Words
, it is clear why high
taxes
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 are important to get good public services.
Conclusion
In conclusion, there are a lot of
people
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 who have an idea about the importance of a high
amount
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 of money that should be taken to build or provide appropriate services,
while
Linking Words
 other
people
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 say the opposite. In my opinion, I totally believe that high
taxes
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 provide convenient
facilities
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, whilst diversifying income
resource
Check wording
resources
show examples
 can control the tax rates.

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task response
You discuss both views and give your own view. However, make your opinion more clear from the start. Say which side you support more, or explain clearly why you support both sides.
task response
Explain each main idea in more depth. For example, say why high tax can improve roads and schools, and why lower tax can help workers and families.
task response
The point about oil and factory income needs more support. Explain how this money can pay for public services and why it may lower the need for high tax.
task response
Be careful with the study example. It is not well explained, and the claim about tax in the US may not fit the point. Use a clear, simple example instead.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, two main paragraphs, and an end. This makes it easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Make the link between ideas more clear. For example, replace "This leads high taxes to be reduced" with "As a result, the government may not need to raise tax so much."
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer topic sentences. In the first body paragraph, state that high tax can leave people with less money. In the second, state that tax can pay for good public services.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid repeating "the country" and "amount of money" too often. Use words such as "the government", "public funds", "tax income", and "this money".
coherence and cohesion
Your last paragraph repeats earlier ideas. Make it stronger by restating your view in one direct sentence and briefly giving the reason.
task response
You answer all parts of the question: you discuss high tax, lower tax, and your own view.
task response
You use public parks, buildings, roads, and schools as useful examples of public services.
coherence and cohesion
The essay follows a clear order: introduction, one view, the other view, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Words such as "First of all", "In addition", and "In conclusion" help show the order of your ideas.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • proportion of salaries
  • necessary public services
  • infrastructure
  • redistribute wealth
  • wealth gap
  • equitable
  • discourage
  • economic growth
  • innovation
  • tax evasion
  • tax avoidance
  • tax revenue
  • burdensome
  • human capital
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