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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The table below gives information on consumer spending on different items in five different countries in 2002. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the mainfeatures, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The table illustrates the expenditure data on various products,
such
Linking Words
 as food, clothes, and
education
Use synonyms
in
Punctuation problem
, in
show examples
 five countries, Ireland, Italy,
Spain
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, Sweden, and
Turkey
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, in 2002.
Overall
Linking Words
, Ireland and
Turkey
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 accounted for the largest amount of spending on food compared with other countries,
while
Linking Words
 Italy had the highest
number
Check wording
amount
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 of spending on clothing.
However
Linking Words
,
Spain
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 had the lowest
number of
Check wording
apply
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expenditure on
leisure
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 and
education
Use synonyms
 over the period. In 2002, Ireland and
Turkey
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 experienced at 28.91% and 32.14% in food/drink/tobacco, respectively. The next was
Spain
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 at 18.80% and Italy at 16.36%.
Moreover
Linking Words
, Italy accounted for 9.00% that spent for clothing/footwear, closely followed by
Turkey
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 at 6.63% and
Spain
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 at 6.51%.
Rgarding
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Regarding
leisure
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 and
education
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, all
countires
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countries
 experienced the lowest level of
spend
Replace the word
spending
 on
leisure
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/
education
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. initiated at 4,35% in
Turkey
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, as
a
Correct article usage
the
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 highest proportion of
spend
Replace the word
spending
 on
leisure
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 and
education
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.
However
Linking Words
,
Spain
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 accounted
as a
Change preposition
for the
show examples
 lowest expenditure compared with other countries at 1.98%.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words education, spain, turkey, leisure with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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