Some people say that living in a high-rise apartment block is a lonely experience because there is no community spirit. Others say that people who live in high-rise apartments have a much better sense of community than those live in houses. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Introduction
While
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some
people
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say that living in a high-rise
apartment
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block is a lonely experience without any community spirit, others say that those
people
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have a much better sense of community compared to those
live
Correct pronoun usage
who live
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in
houses
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.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand, a high-rise
apartment
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block with several
numbers of
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apartments
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apartment
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can be lonely. The main reason is the huge
amount
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number
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of individuals living there.
While
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in
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apply
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houses
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usally are up to 10 flats, in a high-rise
apartment
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block
Punctuation problem
block,
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can live up to 300
Correct word order
up to 300 people can live
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people
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sperated in over
hunderts
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hundreds
of apartments. With those numbers of flats,
tentents
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tents
are nearly
anonym
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anonymous
for others. Connecting to others can
therefore
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be difficult.
For
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example
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example,
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organising an event for all
tentens
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teenagers
is nearly impossible with those huge numbers of
people
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living in those blocks.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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, only by living in
houses
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the
Punctuation problem
, the
show examples
sense of commuinty not
getting
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get
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better. It
also
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depends on the
tentends
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tenants
living there.
This
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goes hand-in-hand with the communication in those
houses
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.
For
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example
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example,
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if the property owner
also
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lives in the house, it is
usally
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usually
easier to connect and plan an event for meeting up with the other
people
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.
However
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, the property owner can
also
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be a company or
only managed
Correct word order
managed only
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by a company. With
this
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usally the same problems arise in the same way as in high-rise
apartment
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blocks.
Conclusion
In my opinion, it depends on the owner or/and
organisation
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/or organisation
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standing behind the buildings. If they are acting in
mind
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the mind
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of the
tentens
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tenants
living in
apartment
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blocks or buildings and if the wanna strenght the communication and bonding,
their
Use the right word
there
show examples
is
usally
Correct your spelling
usually
a good community
spirt
Correct your spelling
spirit
regardless of the size.

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task response
You discuss both sides and give your own view, so you answer all parts of the question. However, your ideas need more depth. Explain more clearly why a large number of people may make close links hard, and why good owners or groups can help people meet.
task response
Your own view is clear at the end, but it could be stronger. State that size is not the main point, then show that shared spaces, groups, and events can build a sense of community in both kinds of home.
task response
Use more clear and real examples. For example, people in a tall block may meet in lifts, shared gardens, or play areas. People in houses may know fewer neighbours if each home has its own private space.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear four-part shape: opening, one side, the other side, and your view. Keep this plan, but make the first sentence of each main part state the key idea more directly.
coherence and cohesion
Some links between ideas are not clear. Use simple link words such as “This means”, “As a result”, “For this reason”, and “In contrast” to show how one idea leads to the next.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph stays on one main idea. In the second main part, focus first on why houses do not always create a community. Then explain the role of the owner or group in a separate, clear step.
coherence and cohesion
Check sentence order and grammar because they sometimes make the meaning hard to follow. For example, write: “In a high-rise block, hundreds of people may live in many flats.” This is clearer than using long phrases with unclear word order.
task response
You give a balanced answer by looking at both high-rise blocks and houses.
task response
Your final view is clear: community depends more on the people and the way the building is run than on its size.
coherence and cohesion
You use clear paragraph breaks and useful signposts such as “On the one hand”, “On the other hand”, and “In my opinion”.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general
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