IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Some people believe that teaching children at home is best for a child's development while others think that it is important for children to go to school. Discuss the advantages of both methods and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Introduction
In today’s world, some
people’s teaching
Wrong verb form
people teach
show examples
 their
Use synonyms
children’s in
Change preposition
children at
show examples
home
Use synonyms
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 another’s are going to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
school
Use synonyms
. Teaching is
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 important thing for
child
Check wording
children
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 because it is the future and inception for
children’s
Use synonyms
 career. In
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
essay,
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 I will discuss
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
both sides.
Body paragraph 1
Teaching children
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
home
Use synonyms
 is a very good idea, because they are alone and no one can disturb them.
In
Correct your spelling
In-home
home
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
children’s
Check wording
children
show examples
 are calm and can teach better. When children are being thought in
Use synonyms
home
Punctuation problem
home,
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 they are paying a lot of attention In that children. But when
Use synonyms
children’s
Correct subject-verb agreement
children are
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 studying at
Use synonyms
home
Punctuation problem
home,
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 they cannot make
friends
Use synonyms
. Studying at
home
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 is good because many
Use synonyms
children’s paying
Wrong verb form
children pay
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 a lot of money for driving.
Body paragraph 2
Teaching at
school
Use synonyms
 is
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good, because
besides
Linking Words
 being
educated
Punctuation problem
educated,
show examples
Use synonyms
children’s
Check wording
children
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 receive
bringing up
Check wording
a good upbringing
show examples
. In
Use synonyms
school
Add a comma
school,
show examples
people’s
Check wording
people
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 can make
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
friends
Use synonyms
. Studying in
school
Use synonyms
 is the best part of life. Many people attend
school
Use synonyms
 for their
friends
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. Humanity in the
school
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 may have a unique
studying
Check wording
approach to studying
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 that
in
Punctuation problem
, in
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 the future it more necessary and respectful
knowledge that humanity
Correct word choice
than
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 studying
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
home
Use synonyms
. In
Use synonyms
school
Add a comma
school,
show examples
 people can have some unique
friends
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that
Correct pronoun usage
who,
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 in the
future
Punctuation problem
future,
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 if someone
do
Correct subject-verb agreement
does
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 not know
something
Punctuation problem
something,
show examples
 they will say
which is the right path
Correct word order
what the right path is
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.
Conclusion
From my point of
you
Use the right word
view
show examples
, studying in
school
Use synonyms
 is better than studying alone
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
home
Use synonyms
 because people can make
friends
Use synonyms
, and go to
school
Use synonyms
 for their
friends
Use synonyms
 and
studying
Wrong verb form
study
show examples
 hard.

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task response
You discuss both home teaching and school, and you give your view. However, your ideas are often very short or not clear. Explain each main point more fully. For example, home teaching may give one-to-one help, while school helps children learn with other people.
task response
Use clear and true examples. The point about paying money for driving does not fit this topic. You could write about a child who learns well at home because a parent can give more time, or a child at school who learns to work in a group.
task response
Your own view is clear: school is better. Add more reasons for this view, such as learning to share, follow rules, and speak with many different children and teachers.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, two main parts, and a final view. This is a good basic plan. Make each paragraph focus on one main idea, then add an explanation and an example.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are hard to understand because the word order and word choice are not clear. For example, change “In home children’s are calm and can teach better” to “At home, children may feel calm and learn better.”
coherence and cohesion
Use simple linking words to show your ideas: “First,” “Also,” “However,” “For example,” and “In my view.” Do not repeat “because” too many times in the same paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid using “children’s” and “people’s” when you mean the plural form. Write “children” and “people.” Use “children’s” only when you mean something belongs to children, such as “children’s books.”
task response
You answer all main parts of the question: you write about home teaching, school, and your own view.
coherence and cohesion
Your writing is split into clear paragraphs for the two methods and your final opinion.
task response
You give a useful main point for school: children can make friends and get help from other people.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Tailored learning
  • peer pressure
  • flexibility
  • instill values
  • socialization
  • communication skills
  • specialized facilities
  • extracurricular activities
  • diversity
  • structured environment
  • customized education
  • well-rounded education
What to do next:
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