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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

there should be a legal age limit for driving cars and motorbikes on the road What extend do you agree or disagree?

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Introduction
In today’s world, there is an ongoing debate about whether a minimum
age
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limit
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 for driving cars and motorbikes should be established or not. I largely agree that
such
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 a restriction is necessary, and in
this
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 essay, I will give my perspective on
this
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 topic .
Body paragraph 1
Establishing an
age
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 restriction for
drivers
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 can help to reduce
road
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 accidents and ensure that
drivers
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 are mature enough to make responsible decisions.
Road
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 accidents mostly happen because
drivers
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 start to panic and eventually lose control. Naturally, losing control and acting nervously is more common among
teenagers
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 than among mature
people
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.
Moreover
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,
teenagers
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 are passionate about driving very fast in cities, which can cause tragic consequences.
Therefore
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, setting a minimum legal driving
age
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 can help to reduce accidents caused by inexperience and poor judgment.
In addition
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, traffic jams are a major problem, especially for overpopulated cities, and establishing an
age
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limit
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 for
drivers
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 would lead to a reduction in traffic congestion and improvements on the
road
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.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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, some
teenagers
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 may be more competent
drivers
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 than certain adults.
For instance
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, a teenager who has received extensive supervised driving practice may
drive
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 more carefully than an older person with poor driving habits.
Therefore
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, some
people
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 find the
age
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limit
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 useless and wrong.
Although
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people
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 cannot judge
drivers
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’ abilities based on
age
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, society does not approve
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of
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people
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 under eighteen
drive
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 car on a public
road
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. In some countries,
people
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 can get their driving license at the
age
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 of seventeen
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
drive
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 at the
age
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 of eighteen because the latter marks the legal transition into adulthood in most countries.
Conclusion
In conclusion, a legal
age
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limit
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 is essential for
drivers
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 to keep the roads safe and under control. From my point of view,
teenagers
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 should undergo driving practices with their parents, but they need to be 18 years old to
drive
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 a car or motorbike independently.

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task response
Your view is clear: you agree that there should be a legal age limit. To make your answer stronger, explain more fully why age is the best way to keep roads safe, not only driving skill or a test.
task response
Your first main point about young drivers, fear, and fast driving is useful. However, the point about less traffic is not well shown. An age rule may delay driving, but it may not greatly cut traffic. Use a clearer reason instead.
task response
In the other side paragraph, you give a good case of a young person with much practice. Then clearly say why this case does not change your view: a law needs one simple rule for all people.
task response
Give one more real or clear example, such as a new driver making a quick choice at a busy road, to show how lack of age and experience can lead to danger.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear order: opening, reasons, other side, and ending. Keep each paragraph on one main idea. The traffic point in the first body paragraph feels less close to the safety point.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear link words to show your steps, for example: “First”, “Also”, “However”, and “For this reason”. Do not use too many link words if the ideas already flow well.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences need clearer form. For example, write “society does not approve of people under eighteen driving a car on public roads” instead of “society does not approve people under eighteen drive car on a public road.”
coherence and cohesion
In the ending, repeat your main view in a direct way and link it to your reasons: safety, good choice, and enough practice before driving alone.
task response
You answer the full question and make your own view clear from the start.
task response
You include the other side of the issue and give a fair example of a young driver with good practice.
coherence and cohesion
Your opening and ending are both present, and they match your main view.
coherence and cohesion
The main paragraphs are easy to follow, with reasons first and the other view after that.
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