IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

You recently booked a part-time course at a college. You now need to cancel your booking. Write a letter to the college administrator. In your letter •say which part-time course you booked •explain why you need to cancel your booking •ask about booking a different course You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows: Dear Sir or Madam,

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Dear Sir/Madam, I'
m
Use synonyms
 writing you
this
Linking Words
 letter to cancel
out
Verb problem
apply
show examples
my part-time
course
Use synonyms
 class I registered
online
Change preposition
for online
show examples
 before.
Firstly
Linking Words
, I'
m
Use synonyms
 in year 4, I'
m
Use synonyms
 in the department of Law and and management science and I
will
Wrong verb form
would
show examples
 like to remove the
course
Use synonyms
 named
political law
Capitalize the proper name
Political Law
show examples
 407.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
 it is a subject for
this
Linking Words
 academic year, it will not be convenient to continue with that ,because I will take some courses that I did not
valid
Verb problem
pass
show examples
last
Linking Words
 year
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
in addition
Linking Words
, with
this
Linking Words
course
Use synonyms
,
It
Fix capitalization
it
show examples
 will be hard to
valid
Verb problem
pass
show examples
 the
semester
Punctuation problem
semester,
show examples
 as
this
Linking Words
 is a very complicated
course
Use synonyms
.
As a result
Linking Words
,
is
Correct pronoun usage
it is
show examples
 overwhelming, as I will not have enough time to concentrate and pass these subjects.
Finally
Linking Words
, I
will
Wrong verb form
would
show examples
 prefer to book for another
Use synonyms
course
Punctuation problem
course,
show examples
 it
will
Wrong verb form
would
show examples
 be preferable to introduce
instaed
Correct your spelling
instead of
 French 101.
Also
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 will be superb if I can replace the previous
course
Use synonyms
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
this
Linking Words
 one, since the
course
Use synonyms
 is
more
Rephrase
apply
show examples
easier than the previous one. I'
m
Use synonyms
 looking forward
hearing
Change preposition
to hearing
show examples
 from you! Yours sincerely, Axel.

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task response
Name the course clearly and say that you want to cancel it. Give one clear reason, such as lack of time because of failed courses from last year. Ask if you can book French 101 instead.
task response
Use a more formal tone. Write “I would like to” instead of “I will like to”, and do not call the new course “more easy” or “superb”.
coherence and cohesion
Put one main point in each paragraph: the course, the reason for cancelling, and the new course you want. This will make the letter easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple link words correctly, such as “However”, “Because”, and “Therefore”. Avoid very long sentences with many ideas.
coherence and cohesion
For this greeting, end with “Yours faithfully,” rather than “Yours sincerely,”.
task response
You included all the main parts: the course, the reason to cancel, and a new course you want.
coherence and cohesion
The letter has a clear start, middle, and end, and words such as “Firstly”, “Secondly”, and “Finally” help show the order.
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