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Writing Samples
Band 3.5

In many countries traditional foods being replaced by international fast food. Some people think this is harmful for both families and societies. To what extent agree or disagree?

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Introduction
In many countries, traditional meals are being replaced by international fast
food
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, and some people believe
this
Linking Words
 is harmful to both families and societies. I strongly agree with
this
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 view because traditional
food
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 reflects cultural history and helps maintain traditional family gatherings around meals.
Body paragraph 1
Firstly
Linking Words
, replacing traditional dishes with fast
food
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 can abolish the cultural history of a
country’s with
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country over
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 time, so it is important to keep traditional
food
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 alive
among
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over
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 the years. The
food
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 is an essential component that can reflect a country’s story in a simple dish.
In
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On
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 the other
hands
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hand
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, many
people’s
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people
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 are so
excising
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eager
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 to have an experience of traditional cuisine around the world.
For example
Linking Words
, Kabsah is
Saudi
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from Saudi
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 Arabia
Body paragraph 2
,
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apply
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Falafels in Egypt.
Body paragraph 3
Secondly
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, regular traditional meal keeps families communicated to each other through
food
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 gathering. The relationships between family members
as well as
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 between countries become stronger on tradition
food
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 table.
For instance
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, in Saudi
Arabia
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Arabia,
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 parents are busy all
the
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apply
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day at work
only
Add a semicolon
; only
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at
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in
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 the
evening
Punctuation problem
evening,
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 they must have a Kabsa with their children every day to preserve the good relationships between them.
Conclusion
In conclusion, I completely agree with
this
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 trend because
the
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apply
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traditional foods can not be replaced by
the
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apply
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fast
food
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because
Correct word choice
, as
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 it may preserve the cultural history of a
country’s and their
Correct word order
country and its
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 traditional eating habits.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it can be considered as an important way to create
a
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apply
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good and healthy relationships between
people’s
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people
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 from various countries around the world.

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Task response
You answer the question clearly and give your view from the start. To make your answer stronger, explain more fully why fast food harms society, not only family life. For example, say how it can make young people know less about their country’s food and way of life.
Task response
Your examples of Kabsa and falafel are useful, but they are too short. Explain what these foods mean to people and how families make or eat them together. Also, do not say that fast food replaces all traditional food; use words such as “may” or “can” when needed.
Coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear order: introduction, two main parts, and conclusion. Keep this shape. Make each main part focus on one clear idea, then explain it, and then give one full example.
Coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are hard to follow because the links between ideas are not clear. Use simple links such as “This is because”, “As a result”, and “For example”. Avoid very long sentences with many ideas.
Coherence and cohesion
Check word use in key sentences. For example, write “on the other hand”, not “in the other hands”; write “family members can communicate”, not “families communicated”; and write “a country’s history”, not “a country’s with time”.
Task response
You give a clear opinion and stay on the main topic throughout the essay.
Task response
You use real examples from Saudi Arabia and Egypt, which makes your ideas more direct and easy to understand.
Coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are both present, and your two main ideas are easy to find.
Coherence and cohesion
You use basic order words such as “Firstly”, “Secondly”, “For example”, and “In conclusion” to guide the reader.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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