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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that children's time outside of school should be filled with scheduled activities such as art and music classes and sports. others feel that children need free time to play and relax. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

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Introduction
Children
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’s
time
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 should be well organised to complete the tasks of the
day
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. It is often argued that they should join
after
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after-school
school
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 extracurricular
activities
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such
Linking Words
 as art, music and sports,
whereas
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 others believe that they need to spend that
time
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by
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apply
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playing or relaxing. In my opinion, it is better to engage
young
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the young
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 generation
into
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in
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 co-curricular
activities
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 which aid in
the
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apply
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holistic development.
Body paragraph 1
To begin
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 with, people send their
children
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 to activity
classes
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 based on their
interest
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interests
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 after
school
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 for their
overall
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 development. Sometimes, a child’s hidden talent can only be discovered once they participate in
activities
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 outside of
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school
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the school
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 curriculum. Schools do not provide enough space and
time
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 to help the students master a creative activity because of
heavy
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the heavy
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work load
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workload
 of
curriculum
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the curriculum
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.
Therefore
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, it is vital for the parents to schedule adolescents’
time
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 for sports, arts or music out of the
school
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 hours.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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, proponents of
this
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 view argue that youngsters should be free after
school
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 so that they can enjoy and relax without any stress. When young people have to wake up early in the morning for
school
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, their
day
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 becomes more hectic because they attend
classes
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of
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in
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 different subjects.
Consequently
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, parents want to keep them free later in the
day
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 to recharge them for the next
day
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.
Moreover
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, they opine that free minds are more creative and can absorb more concepts in
school
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 once they are refreshed in
evening
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the evening
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.
Body paragraph 3
Despite
this
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, I still believe that extra-curricular
activities
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 build physical stamina and help with the proper growth of the body.
In addition
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 to
this
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, not every child is good at academics,
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hence
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apply
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it is the best
time
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 to explore alternative options for a better future for these
children
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. The hard work done early in life will pay off later in life.
Conclusion
To summarise,
although
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 some people think that
children
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 should be free after
school
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, there are several benefits of attending extra-curricular
classes
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 after
school
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including
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, including
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an
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apply
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overall
Linking Words
development of body
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body development
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. I support the view to send
children
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 to these
classes
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 as long as they are interested
which
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, which
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 will
also
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 help to shape their future better.

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task response
You discuss both sides and give your own view clearly. To make your answer stronger, explain more about why free play is important. For example, say how it can help children make friends, solve small problems, and choose what they like to do.
task response
Your main view supports planned classes, but your last line adds an important limit: children should go only if they are interested. Put this idea earlier and explain it more. This will make your view more clear and fair.
task response
Use one clear real-life example for each side. For example, a child may find a love for music in a class, while another child may feel calm after an hour of free play with friends.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear order: opening, one side, the other side, your view, and ending. Keep this good plan. Make the link from the free-time paragraph to your own view smoother by saying that rest is useful, but a good mix is best.
coherence and cohesion
Some ideas repeat, such as overall growth and a better future. Try to add new support instead of saying the same point again. For example, explain how sports can build team work or how art can help children share ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words with care. Words like 'therefore', 'on the other hand', and 'despite this' help the reader. You can also use simple links such as 'for this reason', 'at the same time', and 'as a result' to show how one idea leads to the next.
coherence and cohesion
Make a few sentences more direct. For example, change 'they need to spend that time by playing or relaxing' to 'they need time to play or relax'. Short, clear sentences will make your ideas easier to follow.
task response
You answer all parts of the question: you explain both views and state your own opinion.
task response
Your reasons for planned activities are clear: they can help children find skills that school may not have time to develop.
coherence and cohesion
Each main paragraph has one clear focus, so the reader can follow your ideas easily.
coherence and cohesion
The opening gives the topic and your view, and the ending restates your main position clearly.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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