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Band 7

The bar chart below shows the percentage of households that owned different households that electronic devices in 2005 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevan

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The given bar chart compares the proportion of households that owned four different electronic appliances in two years (2005 and 2015
.
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
)
Overall
Linking Words
, all figures showed an upward trajectory throughout the period. It is
also
Linking Words
 evident that households that owned tablets had the most dramatic increase by the final year,
while
Linking Words
 in the initial
year
Add a comma
year,
show examples
this
Linking Words
 figure stood apart from others with the lowest
percentage
Use synonyms
. In detail, the share of TVs accounted for 90%, making it the
utmost
Correct word choice
highest
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percentage
Use synonyms
 by 2005, compared with 55% for computers.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, TVs saw an increase of 5
percentage
Use synonyms
 points to 95% by the end of the period.
Moreover
Linking Words
, computers rose gradually to 80% by the end of the timescale.
Following
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 trend, the remaining digital devices were tablets and mobile phones: both of which grew.
However
Linking Words
, mobile phones represented 65% by 2005, but
then
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 was followed by a
further
Linking Words
 rise to 95% by the end of the timeframe.
Likewise
Linking Words
, the figure for tablet, which had the lowest proportion in 2005 at 0
%
Punctuation problem
%,
show examples
witnessed the
most sharp
Replace the word
sharpest
 increase by 45
percentage
Use synonyms
 points, reaching a peak of 45% over a 20-year period.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "compares" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.
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