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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that we cannot learn anything from the past for our life today, while others believe that history is a valuable source of information to understand Humans life. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Introduction
Certain
people
Use synonyms
 think that there is nothing to learn from past
experiences
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,
while
Linking Words
 others consider it a crucial part of
life
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 lessons.
Although
Linking Words
 dwelling in the past can bring back
unpleasent
Correct your spelling
unpleasant
 memories leading to stress and mental health issues, they can
also
Linking Words
 be enlightening and informative.
Body paragraph 1
To begin
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 with, many
people
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 feel that remembering the past is futile.
Linking Words
this
Capitalize the word
This
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 is mainly because of the bad
experiences
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 and decisions which led to an
unpleasent
Correct your spelling
unpleasant
 outcome in their
life
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.
Consequently
Linking Words
, they end up increasing stress and mental strain
leading
Punctuation problem
, leading
show examples
 to nervousness, self-doubt and mental illnesses.
Additionally
Linking Words
, some
people
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 believe that
focussing
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focusing
 on
future
Add an article
the future
show examples
 is much more productive than dwelling
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the past. As our current mindset and
decision
Check wording
decisions
show examples
 can shape our future, it is better to focus on the present than worrying about our past decisions.
For example
Linking Words
, many
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
psychologists and
life
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 coaches suggests their patients
to
Wrong verb form
apply
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focus on
current
Correct determiner usage
their current
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life
Use synonyms
than
Correct word choice
rather than
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 worrying about past mistakes.
Body paragraph 2
On the contrary
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, others say that there is a lot to be learned from past mistakes. Past
experiences
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helps
Correct subject-verb agreement
help
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 an individual to
recognize his
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recognise their
show examples
 mistakes and
gives
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give
show examples
 them the opportunity to learn from
it
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them
show examples
.
Consequently
Linking Words
, they would be aware of it and not
reapeat
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repeat
 the same mistake.
For example
Linking Words
,
people
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 try multiple times to
acheive
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achieve
 their goals and
finally
Linking Words
 succeed,
this
Linking Words
 is because they learned from their previous
mistake
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mistakes
show examples
.
Conclusion
In conclusion, Past
life
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 is important to be remembered to learn and improve from those
experiences
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but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 overthinking about it can cause mental health issues. In my opinion, history is a valuable part of our
life
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, which can teach us and provide us with opportunities to improve ourselves in future.

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task response
You discuss both sides and give your own view, which is good. However, the first side is mostly about personal bad memories, not the wider idea that history may not help life today. Add points such as how old events may be very different from life now.
task response
Make your view clear earlier, in the first paragraph. Then keep the same view in the end: we should learn from the past, but not spend too much time thinking about it.
task response
Give fuller support for each main point. For the value of history, explain how past wars, disease, or money problems can help people and leaders make better choices now.
task response
Your examples are too general. Use one clear example and explain the result. For example, people can study past health problems to plan better care in a new health crisis.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, two body parts, and an ending. To make it easier to follow, begin each body paragraph with a direct main idea linked to the question.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words with care. Words such as “Consequently” should show a real cause and result. In a few places, the link between ideas is not fully clear.
coherence and cohesion
Keep the focus on history and life today. The essay sometimes moves to mental health and life coaching, which makes the main discussion less direct.
coherence and cohesion
Check full stops and capital letters. For example, start “This” and “Past” with capital letters when they begin a sentence. Also correct word forms such as “Past experiences help” and “not repeat.”
task response
You answer all parts of the question: you show both views and state your own opinion in the final paragraph.
task response
The main idea that people can learn from past mistakes is clear and fits the topic well.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is well ordered, with an introduction, a paragraph for each view, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You use helpful signposts such as “To begin with,” “On the contrary,” and “In conclusion” to guide the reader.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • valuable source of information
  • human behavior
  • governance
  • social structures
  • cultural heritage
  • historical awareness
  • modern society
  • technological advancements
  • medical advancements
  • economic patterns
  • financial decisions
  • historical conflicts
  • contemporary situations
  • rapid technological changes
  • relevant
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