Some people believe that there should be fixed punishment fo each type of crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it should always be taken into account when deciding on the punishment. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic → Introduction
The incidences of the
isCorrect subject-verb agreement
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rising, leading to
determine the Correct word order
the need to determine the rules and punish those
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and punish the one who againts them. There are two different
typeCheck wording
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of
;Punctuation problem
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the
and
. Some
believe that the punishments for each
should be fixed,
other thinks
. They argued that it should
reliedWrong verb form
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on the circumstances and motivations. In my opinion, the
can be both frozen and
.
Body paragraph 1
, the stable punishments
isCorrect subject-verb agreement
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well-known
that
awareVerb problem
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of
them Correct pronoun usage
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easily. It can be taught since childhood.
, in traffic
, crossing at
zebraAdd an article
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crossing is
theCorrect article usage
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common basic
rulesCheck wording
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that
understand
the Check wording
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and
knownWrong verb form
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the consequences.
, the frozen
is not suitable for more complex situation as
a Correct article usage
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harmful or life-threatening situations
becausePunctuation problem
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thesesUse the right word
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should be decided by the lots of factors and motivations.
Body paragraph 2
, some
argued that the
should be change relying by the circumstances and motivations. Punishing someone is sensitive and have to decide accurately. It is important to understand
in Change preposition
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each
every Correct determiner usage
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situation before judging someone.
, killing someone can be
madeVerb problem
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by both
killers or
. These two opposite criminals
andChange preposition
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same
one Correct determiner usage
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result should be punished differently.
Conclusion
I believed that both
punishmentCheck wording
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can be taken in real life
butPunctuation problem
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in another degrees of
. So it is important
for consideringWrong verb form
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the main points for every
and
understandingWrong verb form
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the
before judging
punishing them.
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You discuss both views and give your own view, which is good. However, make your opinion more clear from the start. Say which crimes need fixed punishment and which need a judge to look at the case.
Explain each main idea more fully. For fixed punishment, write why it can be fair and can stop crime. For changeable punishment, write why the reason, harm, and person’s past actions matter.
Your examples are useful, but make them more exact. The traffic example is about a rule, not clearly about punishment. Give an example such as the same fine for a small traffic act, or different sentences for murder and self-defence.
Your essay has a clear four-part plan: introduction, one paragraph for each view, and a final paragraph. Keep this plan, but make the first sentence of each paragraph state the main point more directly.
Use linking words in a more natural way. For example: “On the one hand”, “On the other hand”, “However”, “For this reason”, and “In conclusion”. Do not repeat “punishment” and “circumstances” too often; use “sentence”, “case”, or “situation” when the meaning is the same.
Make sure each sentence is clear before moving to the next idea. Some sentences are hard to follow, such as “There are two different type of rules”. Focus on punishments, not rules, because that is the main subject of the question.
Check key word forms and spelling: “incidence of crime”, “against”, “changeable”, “unchangeable”, “people think”, “depends on”, “every situation”, “criminals”, and “and punishing”.
You answer all parts of the question: fixed punishment, case-by-case punishment, and your own opinion.
The self-defence example clearly shows why two acts with the same result may need different punishment.
Each body paragraph focuses on one view, so the reader can follow your ideas easily.
You use basic paragraph links such as “Firstly”, “However”, and “On the other hand” to show the change between ideas.
Include an introduction and conclusion
A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.
The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.
The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:
- Summary
- Restatement of thesis
- Prediction or recommendation
Example:
To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.
Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:
- In conclusion
- To conclude
- To summarize
- Finally
- In a nutshell
- In general