Many governments in the world spend large amounts of money on art, which helps to improve the quality of people’s lives. However, governments should spend money on other things rather than art. Do you agree or disagree?
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Introduction
Nowadays, governments are offering huge financial support to promote
art
. Some believe that it is a necessary financial decision, Use synonyms
while
others oppose it. I completely support Linking Words
this
predicament as Linking Words
art
could improve the quality of Use synonyms
life
, promote nationalism, peace and Use synonyms
art
in our society.Use synonyms
Body paragraph 1
To begin
with, Linking Words
art
has been one of the driving Use synonyms
force
of a nation since Check wording
forces
early
periods. They promote a sense of togetherness, Add an article
the early
peopl's
Correct your spelling
people's
idea's
and joy. Check wording
ideas
Art
funding can raise the quality of Use synonyms
life
by adding culture, helping education and Use synonyms
increase
artistic Wrong verb form
increasing
litreacy
. Correct your spelling
literacy
For example
, Students still study about artistic buildings and monuments made centuries ago in their schools. Linking Words
This
educates them about our history and Linking Words
culture
passed down to us by our ancestors.Punctuation problem
culture,
Body paragraph 2
Another point to consider is
,
how Punctuation problem
apply
art
boosts our economy and social Use synonyms
life
. The Idols and artistic figurines in museums and theatres are a sight to see. The intricate details and history associated with itUse synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
apply
is
a great way to spread public awareness about our history and give people an opportunity to meet and learn. Goverment Correct subject-verb agreement
are
also
earns some funds from tickets and goodies, which Linking Words
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
then
used for public needs. Linking Words
For example
, Linking Words
Local
bone museum in SarniaCorrect article usage
the local
,
has a collection of bone which are centuries old. The funds collected are Punctuation problem
apply
then
used by the Sarnia Government to organise a Thanksgiving Meet every year for the local crowd to encourage social togetherness.Linking Words
Conclusion
In conclusion,
Art
funds are an important part of government funding projects, provided it is used fairly and ensure equal access to Use synonyms
public
. Based on these points, I agree to the fact that Add an article
the public
government
should spend money on Add an article
the government
art
to improve people's quality of Use synonyms
life
.Use synonyms
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task response
Your view is clear: you agree that public money should support art. However, the question also asks if money should go to other things instead. Explain why art should still get money when health, schools, and roads also need support. A short point about fair spending would make your answer more complete.
task response
Develop each main idea more fully. For example, explain clearly how art can improve daily life, and how museums or shows can help jobs and local business. Some ideas are listed together, but they need more explanation.
task response
Use examples that are clear and easy to believe. The Sarnia museum example has useful detail, but explain its link to the main point more directly. Also check facts and use a more natural example if you are not sure.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear start, two body parts, and an end. Keep one main idea in each body part. The first body part is about culture and learning; the second should stay focused on money, jobs, or social life.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear link words to show the path of your ideas: “First”, “Also”, “As a result”, and “For this reason”. Do not begin a sentence with “Another point to consider is, how...”; write “Another point is that art can help the economy and social life.”
coherence and cohesion
Make the end match your main view in simple words. Say that art spending should continue, but it should not take money away from basic public needs. This will make the final message stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Check small word errors because they can make the reader stop. For example: “driving force” should be “driving forces”; “They promote” needs a clear subject; “Goverment” should be “Government”; and “people's idea's” should be “people’s ideas.”
task response
You give a direct view in the first paragraph and keep the same view until the end.
task response
You use two useful reasons for art funding: culture and history, then money and community life.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear overall shape, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Examples about old buildings, museums, and public events help the reader understand your points.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite