Many governments in the world spend large amounts of money on art, which helps to improve the quality of people’s lives. However, governments should spend money on other things rather than art. Do you agree or disagree?

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Introduction
Nowadays, governments are offering huge financial support to promote
art
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. Some believe that it is a necessary financial decision,
while
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others oppose it. I completely support
this
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predicament as
art
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could improve the quality of
life
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, promote nationalism, peace and
art
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in our society.
Body paragraph 1
To begin
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with,
art
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has been one of the driving
force
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forces
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of a nation since
early
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the early
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periods. They promote a sense of togetherness,
peopl's
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people's
idea's
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ideas
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and joy.
Art
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funding can raise the quality of
life
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by adding culture, helping education and
increase
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increasing
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artistic
litreacy
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literacy
.
For example
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, Students still study about artistic buildings and monuments made centuries ago in their schools.
This
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educates them about our history and
culture
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culture,
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passed down to us by our ancestors.
Body paragraph 2
Another point to consider is
,
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apply
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how
art
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boosts our economy and social
life
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. The Idols and artistic figurines in museums and theatres are a sight to see. The intricate details and history associated with it
,
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apply
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is
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are
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a great way to spread public awareness about our history and give people an opportunity to meet and learn. Goverment
also
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earns some funds from tickets and goodies, which
is
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are
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then
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used for public needs.
For example
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,
Local
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the local
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bone museum in Sarnia
,
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apply
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has a collection of bone which are centuries old. The funds collected are
then
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used by the Sarnia Government to organise a Thanksgiving Meet every year for the local crowd to encourage social togetherness.
Conclusion
In conclusion,
Art
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funds are an important part of government funding projects, provided it is used fairly and ensure equal access to
public
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the public
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. Based on these points, I agree to the fact that
government
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the government
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should spend money on
art
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to improve people's quality of
life
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.

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task response
Your view is clear: you agree that public money should support art. However, the question also asks if money should go to other things instead. Explain why art should still get money when health, schools, and roads also need support. A short point about fair spending would make your answer more complete.
task response
Develop each main idea more fully. For example, explain clearly how art can improve daily life, and how museums or shows can help jobs and local business. Some ideas are listed together, but they need more explanation.
task response
Use examples that are clear and easy to believe. The Sarnia museum example has useful detail, but explain its link to the main point more directly. Also check facts and use a more natural example if you are not sure.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear start, two body parts, and an end. Keep one main idea in each body part. The first body part is about culture and learning; the second should stay focused on money, jobs, or social life.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear link words to show the path of your ideas: “First”, “Also”, “As a result”, and “For this reason”. Do not begin a sentence with “Another point to consider is, how...”; write “Another point is that art can help the economy and social life.”
coherence and cohesion
Make the end match your main view in simple words. Say that art spending should continue, but it should not take money away from basic public needs. This will make the final message stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Check small word errors because they can make the reader stop. For example: “driving force” should be “driving forces”; “They promote” needs a clear subject; “Goverment” should be “Government”; and “people's idea's” should be “people’s ideas.”
task response
You give a direct view in the first paragraph and keep the same view until the end.
task response
You use two useful reasons for art funding: culture and history, then money and community life.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear overall shape, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Examples about old buildings, museums, and public events help the reader understand your points.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite
Topic Vocabulary:
  • art
  • money
  • government
  • fund
  • budget
  • balance
  • need
  • health
  • education
  • people
  • life
  • culture
  • city
  • public
  • work
  • job
  • value
  • benefit
  • idea
  • plan
  • result
  • access
  • equal
  • support
  • spend
  • care
  • society
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