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Writing Samples
Band 6

Nowadays many large international companies offer their staff the opportunity to spend a period of time living and working in another country. Why might this opportunity be good for employees? What advantages does this development have for companies?

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Introduction
In today's competitive world, many large international
companies
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 provide their
employees
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 with valuable opportunities to work and live in another
country
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. From my perspective,
this
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 trend benefits both
companies
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 and
employees
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, particularly since it not only allows
employees
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 to develop their personal and professional
skills
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 but
also
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 enables
companies
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 to improve their
competitiveness
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 in international
markets
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.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand, one of the main advantages of living and working in another
country
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 is that it helps
employees
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 cultivate essential
skills
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, including creativity, critical thinking, communication, problem-solving, and decision-making. These abilities can contribute significantly to improving their productivity in the workplace, supporting their personal and professional growth.
For example
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, working in another
country
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 can expose workers to different ways of thinking, which can enable them to become more creative and expand their ideas, leading to
employees
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'
overall
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 growth.
Thus
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,
this
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 approach can play a significant role in cultivating staff's essential
skills
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 and their personal and professional progress.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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,
this
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 trend can have a positive impact on
companies
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' development. One of the major benefits of
this
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 approach is that it enables
companies
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 to broaden their understanding of international
markets
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 and become aware of international customers' needs.
This
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 can inform them of their weaknesses and help them adopt positive changes to improve the quality of their products and meet international
markets
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' demands.
As a result
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,
companies
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 can enhance their
competitiveness
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 in international settings.
For instance
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, global
companies
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such
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 as Abidi often offer their
employees
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 international settings to evaluate
markets
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 more critically
to
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and
show examples
 collect detailed information in order to expand the company and produce innovative products.
This
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 has given rise to significant achievements in the pharmaceutical industry.
Hence
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,
this
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 trend can lay the foundation for expanding
companies
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 and improving their
competitiveness
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.
Conclusion
To sum up
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, I firmly believe that working and living in another
country
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 can act as a catalyst for both
employees
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 and
companies
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, as it helps staff improve their essential professional
skills
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 and allows business owners to expand their
companies
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 and improve their
competitiveness
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 in international settings.

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task response
Answer both parts well: explain how staff gain from the move, then explain how the company gains. Your main ideas are clear, but make the links more direct. For staff, focus on skills, new views, and the ability to work on their own. For companies, focus on local market knowledge, better work across teams, and keeping good staff.
task response
Develop each main point with a clearer cause and result. For example, explain how meeting people from a new culture can make communication better, and how this can help staff do well at work.
task response
The example about Abidi is not fully clear and has little detail. Use a simple, clear example, or use a general example: a worker in a new country can learn what local buyers want and send this news back to the company.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear four-part shape: an opening, two main parts, and an ending. Keep this shape, but make some long sentences shorter so that each idea is easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Some ideas repeat, especially ‘personal and professional growth’ and ‘competitiveness’. State the idea once, then add a new detail or result instead of saying it again in a similar way.
coherence and cohesion
Use links such as ‘because’, ‘therefore’, ‘as a result’, and ‘for example’ only when they show a real link. In a few places, the link is too broad. Make the result after each point more exact.
coherence and cohesion
Make the second main part more focused. Start with one clear point, such as learning about local buyers, then explain how this helps the company make better products and sell more.
task response
You give a clear answer to both questions and keep your ideas about staff and companies separate.
task response
Your points are relevant: staff can learn useful skills, while companies can understand new markets and improve their work.
coherence and cohesion
The opening gives a clear plan for the essay, and the ending brings the two main ideas together.
coherence and cohesion
The main parts use helpful signposts such as ‘On the one hand’, ‘On the other hand’, ‘For example’, and ‘To sum up’.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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