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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

A company is going to give some money either to support the arts or to protect the environment. Which do you think the company should choose?

4.5 / 9
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Introduction
In my opinion, the
company
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 should choose to protect the
environment
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 because it is essential to human survival and the future of our planet.
Body paragraph 1
First of all, protecting the
environment
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 can benefit everyone in society.
For example
Linking Words
, the
company
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 could use the money to plant trees, reduce pollution, or protect endangered animals. These efforts can help create a cleaner and healthier
environment
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 for future generations.
Body paragraph 2
Secondly
Linking Words
, environmental protection can improve people's quality of life. Clean air and water are important for our health, and reducing pollution can help prevent various health problems.
In addition
Linking Words
, the
company
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 can encourage other businesses to take responsibility for the
environment
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.
Body paragraph 3
Although
Linking Words
 supporting the arts is
also
Linking Words
 important because art allows people to express their creativity and preserve their culture, I believe protecting the
environment
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 should be the priority because it affects everyone’s daily lives.
Conclusion
In conclusion, I think the
company
Use synonyms
 should donate money to protect the
environment
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 because it is an investment in a healthier and more sustainable future.

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task response
Give more detail about how one or two actions would help people. For example, explain how planting trees can make city air better, or how clean water can stop illness. This will make your main ideas stronger.
task response
Your choice is clear from the start and you also talk about the other side. To improve, add a more real example, such as a local park, a river, or a school project, to show why this use of money is most useful.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear order: your view, two main reasons, the other view, and a final answer. Keep this plan in future writing.
coherence and cohesion
Use a few more links inside each paragraph to show cause and result. Words such as “because”, “so”, “as a result”, and “for this reason” can help your ideas flow more smoothly.
coherence and cohesion
The first two body parts are clear, but each could start with a more full topic line. Say what the paragraph will prove before giving the example.
task response
You answer the question directly and keep the same clear view all the way through.
task response
You give useful reasons, including health, clean air and water, and a better future for all people.
coherence and cohesion
Each paragraph has one main job, and the essay is easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
You use clear linking words such as “First of all”, “Secondly”, “Although”, and “In conclusion”.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • sustainability
  • corporate social responsibility (CSR)
  • renewable energy
  • conservation
  • Green jobs
  • innovation
  • cultural enrichment
  • brand differentiation
  • public health
  • climate change
  • societal impact
  • operational costs
  • community engagement
  • habitat preservation
  • carbon footprint
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