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Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Thanks to the development of technology, many employers are now offering the employees the option to work from home. Is this a positive or negative development. Give reasons for your answer and give relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

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Introduction
With the development of technology,many employers are now offering their employees the option to work from home.In my opinion,
this
Linking Words
 is largely a positive trend for both workers and companies.
Body paragraph 1
On
one
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the one
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 hand,remote working brings greater flexibility and saves plenty of time.Without daily commuting to offices,workers can reduce time on roads and the cost
oftransportation
Correct your spelling
of transportation
.
This
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 extra time can be used on rest,family and even extended
works
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work
show examples
,which can improve their ability to control their schedule.
Moreover
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,they can achieve a balance between life and work easily.
Body paragraph 2
On the
orther
Correct your spelling
other
 hand,working from home can
also
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 bring
benifits
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benefits
 to companies since they can save money on office rent,
for example
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,electricity and facilities.A wider talent pool becomes available
too
Punctuation problem
, too
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,because they can hire more people who live far away from the workplace.Online works are now serving as a more
improtant
Correct your spelling
important
 tool in communication.
Conclusion
In conclusion,
although
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 remote work has minor downsides,it is a
benificial
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beneficial
 development
overall
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.
it
Capitalize the proper name
It
show examples
 improves workers' quality of life and helps companies operate more efficiently.

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task response
Your view is clear: working from home is mostly good. You give two main reasons: it helps workers and it helps companies. To make the answer stronger, explain each reason more fully. For example, say how less travel can help a parent, or how lower office costs can help a small company.
task response
The question asks for reasons and examples. You have an example of company costs, but it is very short. Add one clear real or possible example, such as a worker who uses travel time to care for a child, or a company that hires a skilled person who lives far away.
task response
You say there are minor bad points in the end, but you do not name them. Briefly state one, such as less contact with work friends or more trouble separating work from home, then explain why the good points are still greater.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear start, two body parts, and an ending. This makes it easy to follow. Keep this shape, but make the link between ideas smoother with simple words such as “For example”, “As a result”, and “In addition”.
coherence and cohesion
Some ideas need a clearer order. In the first body part, start with no travel, then saved time and money, then better life and work balance. In the second, start with lower costs, then hiring people from more places, then online contact.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid sentences that are not clear or do not fit the main point. “Online works are now serving as a more important tool in communication” is too general. Say clearly how online meetings help home workers and companies work together.
task response
You answer the main question directly and keep the same view from the start to the end.
task response
Your points about saved travel time, lower travel costs, lower office costs, and hiring people from far away are useful and on topic.
coherence and cohesion
The opening and ending are both present, and the two body parts each have a main idea.
coherence and cohesion
Words such as “On one hand”, “Moreover”, and “In conclusion” help show the order of your ideas.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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