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Writing Samples
Band 5

Many people join distance-learning programmes and study at home, but some people think that it cannot bring the same benefit as attending colleges or universities does. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Introduction
It is often argued that learning in academic institutions
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 more beneficial than distance-learning
education
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.
Although
Linking Words
 some may disagree with
this
Linking Words
 statement, I completely agree with
this
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 point of view because it provides practical knowledge and holistic development of
students
Use synonyms
.
Body paragraph 1
One of the most apparent reasons why I agree with
this
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 view is that it provides the practical experience to young people, which
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 essential for many specialised courses. A good illustration of
this
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 is that a physiotherapist student should
also
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 learn
hand-on
Replace the word
hands-on
 techniques with the theoretical
knowledege
Correct your spelling
knowledge
.
This
Linking Words
 is because it helps them to
acess
Correct your spelling
access
 and treat the patients
effectienly
Correct your spelling
effectively
.
Body paragraph 2
Another point that should not be overlooked is that educational institutions play a significant role in
holistic
Add an article
the holistic
show examples
 development of
students
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. The main reason is that
,
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apply
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In
Fix capitalization
in
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 these
institutes
Add a comma
institutes,
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students
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 not only get academic knowledge but
also
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 take part in
extra-curicular
Correct your spelling
extracurricular
 activities.
For instance
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, sports and other recreation activities have a positive impact on
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students
Check wording
students'
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 personalities.
This
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help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
 them to become more confident and
also
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 improve their communication skills and
coopration
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cooperation
.
Body paragraph 3
On the flip side, some people argue that these distance-learning
programme
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programmes
show examples
 are
helpfull
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helpful
 for those
students
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how
Correct pronoun usage
who
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 live in remote areas, or want to study with their work.
For example
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, one of my friend live in
small
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a small
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 village
and
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, and
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 she does not have proper facilities to travel to
city
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the city
show examples
 for higher study. Now she is taking classes online
and
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, and
show examples
 these are very beneficial for her, as she can continue her higher studies.
However
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,
these
Fix the agreement mistake
this
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 online learning is not as
efective
Correct your spelling
effective
 as physical
education
Use synonyms
, because it it lack face to face interaction with teachers and other facilities which
education
Use synonyms
 centres provide.
Conclusion
To encapsulate,
although
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 there are
also
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 some benefits of online
education
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, I completely believe that the educational
instirtuties
Correct your spelling
institutions
 are crucial because they provide more benefits to young people,
such
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 as practical experience and personality development.

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task response
Your view is clear: you agree that college study gives more. You answer all parts of the question. To make the answer stronger, explain more clearly why online study cannot give the same hands-on work, group work, and teacher help.
task response
Your two main ideas are useful: hands-on learning and the full growth of students. Add one more clear detail for each idea. For example, say how a student can practise with real people, tools, or team tasks at college.
task response
The example about the student in a small village is relevant. However, keep it short and link it back to your main view: online study is useful in some cases, but it has limits.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear order: introduction, two main body parts, the other view, and a final paragraph. This makes it easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Start each body paragraph with one short main idea. Then give an explanation and an example. In the third body paragraph, make the first line clearer: distance learning can help people far from a city or people who work.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words with care. You use words such as “For instance” and “However” well. Avoid long sentences with too many ideas, as this can make the meaning less clear.
coherence and cohesion
Make the ending more direct. State your view again and briefly name the two reasons. Do not add new ideas in the final paragraph.
task response
You give a clear opinion from the start and keep the same view throughout the essay.
task response
You include both sides of the issue, while still showing why you support college or university study.
coherence and cohesion
Each main paragraph has a clear focus, and examples help the reader understand your points.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and final paragraph are both present, so the essay feels complete.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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