IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

While some think family run business is the best way to run it , others think Family run business is problematic. What is your opinion.

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In recent times , there has been a growing debate about whether a family run the
business
Use synonyms
 is a great idea or
its
Correct pronoun usage
it's
show examples
 problematic . In my
view
Add a comma
view,
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 the pros of family
business
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outweight
Use the right word
outweigh
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 the cons. Creating a
business
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 and
run
Wrong verb form
running
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 it is a pretty challenging speacially if
its
Use the right word
it's
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 a family
business
Use synonyms
 , because the individuals can mix their personal problems with the profesional life in their
business
Use synonyms
place
Punctuation problem
place,
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 that leads to ruin everything
Punctuation problem
. This
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this
Linking Words
 is the main point why issues start .
Linking Words
However
Punctuation problem
However,
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 even the incomes

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task response
Your view is clear: you think family firms have more good points than bad points. But the essay stops very early, so it does not fully answer the question. Add two full main parts: one about the good sides and one about the problems.
task response
Explain each main idea. For example, family members may trust each other and work hard for the same goal. On the other hand, family fights may enter the workplace and harm the work.
task response
Use a simple real-life example for each point. You could write about a small shop where parents and children work well together, or a family firm where a personal fight makes it hard to make a work choice.
coherence and cohesion
Use a clear plan: start with your opinion, write one main idea in each body part, then end with a short final view. At present, the second part ends in the middle of a sentence.
coherence and cohesion
Make sentences shorter. The long sentence about personal and work problems has many ideas joined together. Split it into two or three sentences so the reader can follow it more easily.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple linking words to show the order of your ideas, such as 'First', 'Also', 'However', 'For example', and 'In the end'.
task response
You give your opinion in the first part, and it answers the question directly.
coherence and cohesion
You identify a real problem in family firms: personal issues can affect work.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • beneficial
  • strong family bonds
  • trust
  • challenges
  • separating
  • personal
  • professional
  • conflicts
  • disagreements
  • succession planning
  • transfer of leadership
  • unique
  • pride
  • legacy
  • struggle
  • adopting
  • new ideas
  • innovations
  • long-term focus
  • commitment
  • difficulties
  • attracting
  • external talent
  • expertise
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