Many people prefer shopping online rather than in shops. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development?

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Introduction

Nowadays, a new topic has arisen in our society:

many

Correct word choice

and many

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people prefer shopping online rather than in shops. Both options have

advantages

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and

disadvantages

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. I believe the

advantages

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and

disadvantages

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are within an acceptable range because of our living needs.

Body paragraph 1

On the one hand, online shopping offers quick access to everyday needs, which reflects its

advantages

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and

disadvantages

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. So, the

advantages

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of shopping online can be seen in our needs in urgent situations, like busy workdays or on normal days

Punctuation problem

, to

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minimise

time

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consumption and save it for other operating needs.

Nevertheless

Linking Words

, the

disadvantages

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include the loss of real communication with others, which weakens face-to-face communication, reduces negotiation and persuasion abilities, and can make people feel depressed.

For example

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, over the

last

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six months, I have been using online shopping and that has reduced the

time

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spent from 5% to 3%.

However

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, it has reduced my negotiation and persuasion skills from 70% to 55%.

Therefore

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, there should be a balance between online shopping and shopping in stores.

Body paragraph 2

On the other hand

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, shopping

from

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shops reflects many

advantages

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and

disadvantages

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In other words

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, the

advantages

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include improving your mood, building good relationships with shop staff, and discovering new developments in the city.

Whereas

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apply

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the

disadvantages

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are that it is

time

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-consuming.

For instance

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, over the

last

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six months, one of my friends has tried shopping in stores rather than online, and that has shown some

advantages

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, like discovering new cafes and restaurants in the area.

However

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, the disadvantage is that he spends a lot of

time

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purchasing compared to online shopping, from 15 minutes to 2 hours.

As a result

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, shops need more of your attention and

time

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than online shopping.

Conclusion

In conclusion, both options have

advantages

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and

disadvantages

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, and the best choice depends on your needs and priorities.

Therefore

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, I believe organised people can minimise the

disadvantages

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of online shopping and use in-store shopping for productivity.

saifalbakry2

Oct 23, 2026

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task response

Answer the main question more directly. Give clear good points and bad points of online shopping, not of shop shopping as a main part.

task response

Explain each point with a simple reason. For example, online shopping saves travel time because people can buy from home at any time. A bad point is that buyers cannot see or try the item before they pay.

task response

Use examples that are clear and likely. The numbers about time and your skills are hard to understand and do not strongly show the point. A short real example is better.

task response

Make your own view clear in the end. Say whether online shopping is mostly good, mostly bad, or good only when people use it with care.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay has a clear start, two main parts, and an end. However, the first main part mixes online shopping with shop shopping. Keep one main idea in each part.

coherence and cohesion

Do not repeat the words “advantages and disadvantages” so often. State the point once, then explain it and give an example.

coherence and cohesion

Use clear links between ideas: “First,” “Also,” “However,” “For example,” and “As a result.” Make sure each link shows the right relation.

coherence and cohesion

Some sentences are too long and unclear. Split them into two short sentences. This will make your meaning easier to follow.

task response

You discuss both sides of shopping online and shopping in stores, and you give a clear final idea about choice and personal needs.

coherence and cohesion

The essay is easy to follow at a basic level because it has an introduction, main parts, and a conclusion.

coherence and cohesion

You use some useful linking words, such as “On the one hand,” “Nevertheless,” “For example,” and “In conclusion.”

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

315 words

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