Some people think that art is an essential subject for children at school while others think it is a waste of time. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Introduction
Both contemporary
art
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and ancient
art
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play
significant
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a significant
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role in society , as they reflect cultural values and preserve a community`s heritage . Nowadays ,
art
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has a crucial influence on
children
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`s lifestyles
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,
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and they should be encouraged to appreciate various forms of
art
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.
Body paragraph 1
First and foremost , teaching
art
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to
children
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is important because it enhances their artistic abilities . Drawing pictures and engaging in musical activities help to
children
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express their feelings independently . Eventually , these activities can develop their creativity and improve their problem-solving skills .
For example
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, when drawing pictures ,
children
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use various colours and shapes to express ideas .
Thus
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, they can broaden their imagination and learn to approach problems from different perspectives .
As a result
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,
children
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can become more imaginative and learn to express themselves more confidently.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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, I
believed
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believe
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that
children
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should not focus solely on n
art
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,
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;
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instead
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, they should pay equal attention to other academic
subjects
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.
In addition
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, Math and
another
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other
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certain
subjects
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have
considerably
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considerable
roles
such
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as calculating , money transferred
and
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, and
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so
.
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on.
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For example
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, mathematics helps
children
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develop
logistic
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logical
thinking ,
while
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art
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allows them
express
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to express
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their feelings and creativity .
Therefore
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, both
subjects
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are crucial for their
overall
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important
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importance
.
Conclusion
Taking everything into account ,
children
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not only focus
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art
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on art
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,
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also
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but also
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pay equal attention to other academic
subjects
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.
Nonetheless
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, every subject
enhance
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enhances
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various abilities and
help
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helps
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them become more successful in the future.

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task response
Discuss the other view more fully. Explain why some people think art is a waste of time, such as the need for more time for math, science, and language. Then give your own view clearly.
task response
Make your opinion clear in the first and last parts. You say art should not be the only focus, but you should also state that art is still an important school subject.
task response
Use more real and clear examples. For example, say how music, drawing, or drama can help a child at school or at home.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, two main parts, and an end. Make the second main part match the question more closely by starting with the view that art is a waste of time.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words with care. Words such as “First”, “For example”, “However”, and “In conclusion” can help the reader follow your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences repeat the same idea about art and other subjects. Add one new reason in each paragraph, then explain it before moving on.
coherence and cohesion
Check key phrases so the meaning is clear. For example, write “children should not focus only on art” and “both subjects are important for their overall growth.”
task response
You give a clear reason why art can help children: it can build creativity, ideas, and problem-solving.
task response
The example about colours and shapes supports your point about drawing and imagination.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is easy to follow because it uses separate paragraphs for the main ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Your use of phrases such as “First and foremost”, “On the other hand”, and “Taking everything into account” shows a clear order.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general
Topic Vocabulary:
  • self-expression
  • critical thinking
  • problem-solving
  • cultural awareness
  • tolerant society
  • STEM subjects
  • employability
  • rigorous subjects
  • curriculum
  • school budgets
  • enriches
  • complements
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