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Writing Samples
Band 6

The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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Introduction
A prevalent view holds that the primary objective of science should be the enhancement of human welfare.On one hand, scientific inquiry could delve deeper into the cosmos, potentially yielding novel technologies.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, I contend that the quality of life in certain regions remains suboptimal, and addressing these pressing issues is of greater urgency than other scientific breakthroughs.
Body paragraph 1
Firstly
Linking Words
, exploring other aspects of science could be beneficial in investigating the universe, studying our environment and the origins of the world. Even if these discoveries do not help to improve people's health, they can potentially provide valuable knowledge to future generations.
For instance
Linking Words
, research into the cosmos may lead to the discovery of new resources and the possibility of life on other planets.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
Linking Words
, improving people's lives is one of the crucial purposes of science.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the development of medicine and advanced technologies, has helped humanity to deal with diseases, which most individuals previously considered incurable. One compelling example is vaccines, which helped to eradicate many of the harmful diseases.
As a result
Linking Words
, vaccines saved millions of people from severe suffering.
Conclusion
In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 investigating the world could be helpful in the future, prioritizing improvement of the lives of human beings is more beneficial.

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task response
Your main view is clear: science should mainly improve human lives. Make your position even stronger by saying how far you agree in the first paragraph, for example, that you agree to a large extent.
task response
Develop the first main idea more. You say space research can help future people, but explain more clearly why this matters and how it may improve lives in the long term.
task response
Use more exact support for your examples. For vaccines, name one disease or explain one clear result, such as fewer deaths or safer children.
task response
Be careful with very broad claims. Instead of saying vaccines eradicated many harmful diseases, say that they have prevented or greatly reduced many serious diseases.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear order: introduction, two main paragraphs, and conclusion. Keep this simple four-part plan.
coherence and cohesion
The first body paragraph partly supports the other side, while the second supports your view. Add a clearer link at the end of the first paragraph to show why this aim is less urgent than helping people now.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences can be linked more smoothly. For example, after the space example, add a sentence such as: 'However, these gains may take a long time, while many people need help now.'
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words with care. 'Furthermore' is not needed at the start of the second body paragraph because it does not add a new point to the sentence before it.
task response
You answer the question directly and keep a clear main view from the start to the end.
task response
Your examples of space research and vaccines are relevant and help the reader understand both sides.
coherence and cohesion
Each main paragraph has one clear focus, so the reader can follow your ideas easily.
coherence and cohesion
The conclusion returns to your main view and does not add a new idea.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial role
  • enhancing
  • quality of human life
  • advancements
  • medicine
  • healthcare
  • scientific research
  • solving societal problems
  • improving living standards
  • global issues
  • climate change
  • food scarcity
  • technological advancements
  • limitations
  • negative consequences
  • ethical considerations
  • sustainability
  • environmental preservation
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