IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 1

“These days, people work in more than one job, and often change career several times during their life. What are advantages and disadvantages of this ?”

1.0 / 9
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Nowadays, people are more capable of working in different jobs at the same time and changing
carrears
Correct your spelling
careers
 more frequently.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss the advantages and disadvantages
having
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of having
show examples
 different
carrears
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careers
 and types of jobs. Workers have become more functional than before,
atending
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attending
 different tasks in different jobs. The difference between a normal
emproyee
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employee
 and a proactive employee is the way of
solvinng
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solving
 problems and
become
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becoming
show examples
 more necessary for the company. For exemple in a
manufactoring
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manufacturing
 company, the
canditade
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candidate
 who can
programing
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program
show examples
 and
also
Linking Words
 operate the machine is more likely to get the job.
Other
Correct determiner usage
Another
show examples
 important point is the networking trought differents areas inside the job market. Those who have more
conection
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connections
with people decrease the chance of being unemployed. A good
exemple
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example
 of
this
Linking Words
 is the social
medial
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media
show examples
 called
Linkedin
Capitalize the proper name
LinkedIn
show examples
, where people easily make
conections
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connections
 from
diferrent
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different
 areas to find a job.

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task response
Answer both parts in a clear way. You write mainly about good points, but you do not explain any bad points. Add a full paragraph about problems, such as stress, less free time, and not having enough time to do each job well.
task response
Make your main ideas more clear. One good point is that people can learn more skills. Another is that more work links can help them find work. Explain how each point helps people.
task response
Your examples fit the topic, but give more detail. For example, explain how a worker who can use a machine and write code can do more work and may have more job choices.
coherence and cohesion
Use a simple four-part plan: opening, good points, bad points, and ending. This will help the reader follow your answer from start to end.
coherence and cohesion
Start each main paragraph with one clear main idea. Then add an explanation and an example. Do not put too many different ideas in one paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words to show the order of ideas: “First”, “Also”, “However”, “For example”, and “In the end”. Make sure “however” introduces the bad points.
coherence and cohesion
Add an ending that sums up both sides and gives your own view. At the moment, the essay stops after the second good point.
task response
You give useful and relevant good points, such as learning more skills and making work links.
task response
The examples about a factory worker and LinkedIn are connected to the topic and help show your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
The opening tells the reader that you will discuss both good and bad points.
coherence and cohesion
Your ideas are mostly easy to follow, and you use examples to support them.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Broader skill set
  • Job satisfaction
  • Adaptable
  • Networking opportunities
  • Professional network
  • Career opportunities
  • Financial instability
  • Job security
  • Consistent income
  • Unemployment
  • Pensions
  • Health insurance
  • Stress
  • Burnout
  • Mental health
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