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Writing Samples
Band 7

Men and women are different in terms of their characteristics and abilities. For this reason some job are better done by men and others by women. do you agree or disagree?

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Introduction
More and more
people
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 think that the difference in abilities between males and females is the main reason why some tasks should be done by
men
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 and others by women,
while
Linking Words
 a group of
people
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 may not agree with
this
Linking Words
 opinion. From my perspective, I completely agree with the former statement for two reasons.
Body paragraph 1
First of all, I would argue that
men
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 are more beneficial in tough jobs and physical activities in society. The argument is that male
people
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 have the physical ability to lift heavy objects and move them, which makes them appropriate for
this
Linking Words
 kind of projects
such
Linking Words
 as construction work.
This
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 phenomenon results in a lot of individuals who have been well employed, ultimately leading to the success of many projects in the country. A study conducted by the Department of Engineering at Melbourne University in 2025 concluded that 90% of workers and engineers in the construction field were
men
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.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the economic system will be enhanced
due to
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 the presence of
this
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 strategy.
Body paragraph 2
In addition
Linking Words
, I am convinced that females are able to perform better in precise and accurate duties in any field. What I mean is that female
people
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 can focus on tiny details, which allow them to find errors and differences in any task.
This
Linking Words
 skill will be needed in precise fields
such
Linking Words
 as dentistry, which in turn increases the patient recovery rates in the healthcare system.
For instance
Linking Words
, when a patient enters a hospital, they will find that most of dentist are female.
As a result
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, the performance of the healthcare system will improve if that method is taken into account.
Conclusion
In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
 physical and tough tasks would be more convenient for
men
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, women's skill in accuracy is appropriate for precise jobs.

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task response
Make your main view more careful. You say that jobs should be done by men or women, but this can sound too general. Say that some jobs may need certain skills, but each person should be chosen by skill, training, and experience.
task response
Explain why your points prove that only men or only women are better for these jobs. At the moment, the ideas about strength and care with small details are stated as facts, but they need more support and a clear link to the question.
task response
Use more real and clear examples. The study about construction does not prove that men are better; it only shows that more men work there. The hospital example also needs a clear reason and should not say that most dentists are women without proof.
task response
Avoid claims about all men or all women. Many women can do hard physical work, and many men can do work that needs care with small details. A balanced point like this will make your answer stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear four-part plan: introduction, two main parts, and conclusion. Keep this plan, but make the first sentence of each main part state the exact point you will prove.
coherence and cohesion
Link each sentence more closely to the one before it. For example, after the point about physical strength, explain how this helps in one job, then give one example, then say why this supports your view.
coherence and cohesion
Some linking words are used well, such as “First of all”, “In addition”, and “In conclusion”. Do not add links when the idea is not clear. Make the reason clear first, then use the link.
coherence and cohesion
Make the conclusion match your main view. It now says some jobs are more convenient for men and some for women, but it should also repeat your reason and add that people should be judged as individuals.
language
Check small grammar points: use “some jobs”, “this kind of project”, “most dentists”, and “which allows them”. These changes will make your meaning clearer.
task response
You answer the question directly and give a clear view from the start.
task response
You give two main reasons: physical strength for hard work and care with small details for work such as dentistry.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is easy to follow because each main idea has its own part.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are both present, and the conclusion brings the two main ideas together.
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