some people say that in order to be happy, you must have a job you love doing. others say that other factors are more important do you think that people cần only be happy if they have a job they really enjoy

6.0 / 9

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Introduction

Some

people

Use synonyms

believe that

happiness

Use synonyms

comes from having a

job

Use synonyms

you enjoy,

while

Linking Words

others think that other factors are more important. I believe that

although

Linking Words

enjoying your

job

Use synonyms

is important,

happiness

Use synonyms

also

Linking Words

depends on family and financial stability.

Body paragraph 1

Firstly

Linking Words

, having a

job

Use synonyms

that you enjoy can make you feel happier and more satisfied with your life. When

people

Use synonyms

work in a field they are interested in, they may feel more motivated and proud of themselves.

In addition

Linking Words

, a good working environment can help them become more productive and enjoy their daily lives.

However

Linking Words

, a

job

Use synonyms

is not the only thing that can bring

happiness

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, as other aspects of life are

also

Linking Words

important.

Body paragraph 2

Secondly

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, having a healthy family and financial stability can

also

Linking Words

contribute to

happiness

Use synonyms

. Spending time with family members can provide

people

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with love, support, and a sense of peace.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, having a stable income allows

people

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to meet their family’s needs and worry less about money.

As a result

Linking Words

, even if someone has a

job

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they do not particularly enjoy, they may still feel happy because they have a supportive family and a stable life.

Conclusion

In conclusion, I believe that enjoying your

job

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can increase

happiness

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, but it is not the only factor that matters. A healthy family and financial stability are

also

Linking Words

important because they provide emotional support and security.

themar_t8

Oct 29, 2026

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task response

Your view is clear: a job you enjoy can help, but it is not the only key to happiness. To make your answer stronger, explain more fully why family and money can matter more than work for some people.

task response

Add one clear real-life example. For example, a person may not love their job, but they can still have a happy life if they have close family, good health, and enough money for basic needs.

task response

Be careful with the word “healthy” before “family.” A family is more often called loving, close, or supportive. “Healthy family life” is also natural.

coherence and cohesion

The essay has a clear order: introduction, two main parts, and conclusion. Keep this simple plan in future essays.

coherence and cohesion

Your linking words, such as “Firstly,” “Secondly,” “However,” and “Furthermore,” help the reader follow your ideas. You could also link the first and second body parts more directly by saying that work is only one part of a person’s life.

coherence and cohesion

Some ideas are a little general. After each main point, add a short reason or example. This will make the links between your point and your result clearer.

task response

You answer both sides of the question and give your own clear view from the start.

task response

Your main ideas are relevant: job enjoyment, family support, and money safety all relate well to happiness.

coherence and cohesion

Each body part has one main idea, so the essay is easy to read.

coherence and cohesion

The conclusion clearly repeats your main view and brings the essay to a natural end.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

6.0

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

223 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

happy
job
work
love
enjoy
like
fun
money
pay
time
life
health
family
friends
stress
balance
stable
secure
safe
career
purpose
satisfaction
energy
plan
idea
view
opinion
on the one hand
on the other hand
overall
for many people
happiness
growth

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some people say that in order to be happy, you must have a job you love doing. others say that other factors are more important do you think that people cần only be happy if they have a job they really enjoy

Some children spend hours every day on smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

How important is it for children to learn to understand and appreciate nature? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend.

Some people believe that too much attention and too many resources are given to the protection of wild animals and birds. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programs (for example working on charity, teaching sport to younger people) To what extent do you agree or disagree?