IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

You need to take several days off work for personal reasons. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter: Explain why you need to take time off work. State the dates you would like to be absent. Explain how you will manage your work responsibilities during your absence.

3.5 / 9
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Dear
Mr.
Change the punctuation
Mr
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 Ahmed, I am writing regarding permission that I need for seven days off work for my daughter’s thyroid gland operation in order to take care of her for
recovery
Punctuation problem
recovery,
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 because
I and she
Correct word order
she and I
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 live alone. As an information, her mother died recently.
First,
Linking Words
the seven
day
Check wording
days
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 off that I need from 10 October to 17th October of
this
Linking Words
 month.
Second,
Linking Words
my responsibilities will
dividing to
Wrong verb form
be divided into
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 three part
one
Punctuation problem
, one
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 part I will
mange it
Verb problem
manage
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 by myself before the days off, including data analysis,
clients confirm
Replace the word
client confirmations
 for
deal
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deals
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, and
prepare
Wrong verb form
preparing
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 the file for next month.
Others
Correct determiner usage
The other
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 two parts will be
mange
Correct your spelling
managed
 by my colleague, Ali, including
filtrating
Correct your spelling
filtering
 the files of new clients for
deal
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deals
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, customer services, and hotline support after 4:00 pm.
Finally
Linking Words
, I would appreciate it if you could deal with
is
Correct pronoun usage
this
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 matter as soon as possible. Yours sincerely, Saif

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task response
Answer all three parts more clearly. Give the reason, the exact dates, and a simple work plan in full sentences.
task response
Check the dates. Seven days from 10 October ends on 16 October, not 17 October, unless you mean eight days.
task response
Use more polite and clear words for the request, such as: “I would be grateful if you could approve my leave.”
coherence and cohesion
Use clear paragraphs: reason for leave, dates, work plan, and closing request.
coherence and cohesion
Write complete sentences. For example, use “My duties will be divided into three parts” instead of “my responsibilities will dividing to three part.”
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple words such as “During my absence,” “Before I leave,” and “In addition.”
task response
You give a clear personal reason for the leave and explain why your support is needed.
task response
You include a plan for your work and name a colleague who can help.
coherence and cohesion
The letter has a proper greeting, a clear ending, and uses “First,” “Second,” and “Finally” to show the order of ideas.
Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 150 words in writing task 1. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long letter will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 160 to 190 words in writing task 1. This will ensure a concise letter and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 20 minutes to write the letter and you need around 5 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long letter in 15 minutes.

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