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Band 5

The line graph and pie chart below show information on crime in the UK for the last year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where rele.

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The line graph and pie chart below show information on crime in the UK for the last year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where rele.
The illustrations provide key data about the connections between age and illegal activities in tens of thousands, and the total percentage of the kind of offence in the previous year. Generally speaking, we can see that the major rate of
crimes
Use synonyms
 happened with young adults,
whereas
Linking Words
 children had a
tiny level
Check wording
very low rate
show examples
 of
crimes
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, violent
crime
Use synonyms
 formed the main type of illegal activities,
while
Linking Words
 public order
crime
Use synonyms
 was the smallest figure.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
according to
Linking Words
 what is shown, ages starting from 0 to 12 years old represented a nearly minor 5 thousand. After that, the ages ranging from 16 to 20 jumped to [an enormous] 80 thousand
crimes
Use synonyms
.
Last
Linking Words
 but not least, the ages starting from 24 to 60 dramatically fell to approximately [a nominal] 8 thousand. An interesting comparison is that the number of
crimes
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the age
20
Change preposition
of 20
show examples
 is 80 times more compared with
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the age
8
Change preposition
of 8
show examples
.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the highest kind of
crime
Use synonyms
 was violent
crime
Use synonyms
 at a massive 46%.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, property
crime
Use synonyms
 and drug
crime
Use synonyms
 showed a moderate figure at 23 and 22% in the same order.
Finally
Linking Words
, public order
crime
Use synonyms
 was a minor [trivial] 9%. A surprising statistic is that property
crime
Use synonyms
 and drug
crime
Use synonyms
 had similar numbers, which were 22% and 23%.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words crimes, crime with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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