IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Everybody today should pay a small amount from their income in order to help people who are homeless and / or suffering great poverty. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this?

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I am looking from two different perspectives because it has
a
Correct article usage
apply
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targeted functions
of
Change preposition
for
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 each
aims
Check wording
aim
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.
Small
Add an article
A small
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 amount, or we call
as
Correct pronoun usage
it
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 a tax, is part of a system where the government could run the financial capacities to build healthcare, education, safety, travel & tourism.
those
Capitalize the word
Those
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 are the main components
government
Add an article
the government
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 need to build so
they
Fix the agreement mistake
it
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 can arrange money.

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task response
State your view clearly at the start. Say if you agree, disagree, or partly agree. Your answer now talks about tax, but it does not answer how far you agree with the idea.
task response
Develop both sides with clear reasons. Explain how small payments can help homeless people, but also explain possible problems, such as how the money is used.
task response
Add a real or clear example. For example, money could pay for a safe place to sleep, food, health care, or job help.
task response
Write a full ending that repeats your main view and gives a final answer to the question.
coherence and cohesion
Use a simple plan: introduction, first main idea, second main idea, and conclusion. Each paragraph should have one main point.
coherence and cohesion
Make the first sentence clearer. Instead of saying you are looking from two views, name the two views and show your own view.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple words such as 'First', 'Also', 'However', 'For example', and 'In the end'.
coherence and cohesion
Keep the topic focused on help for homeless and very poor people. Health, education, safety, and travel are broad areas, so explain their link to poverty or remove travel and tourism.
task response
You have a useful main idea: public money can help the government provide important services.
coherence and cohesion
You try to look at more than one view, which can help create a balanced answer.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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