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The bar chart below shows the average number of hours per week that men and women spend doing activities around the home.

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The bar chart below shows the average number of hours per week that men and women spend doing activities around the home.
The bar chart compares the average number of
hours
Use synonyms
 per
week
Use synonyms
 spent by
men
Use synonyms
 and
women
Use synonyms
 on activities around the home.
Overall
Linking Words
,
women
Use synonyms
 spent more
time
Use synonyms
 doing household chores,
while
Linking Words
men
Use synonyms
 devoted considerably more
time
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 to surfing the internet. Watching TV was
also
Linking Words
 a popular activity among both groups, with only a slight difference between them. Regarding household activities,
women
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 spent more
time
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 cooking than
men
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, at 15 and 9
hours
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 per
week
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respectively
Punctuation problem
, respectively
show examples
.
Women
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also
Linking Words
 spent more
time
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 cleaning, with 10
hours
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 compared to 4
hours
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 for
men
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. They spent 8
hours
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 washing up,
while
Linking Words
Use synonyms
men
Add an article
the men
show examples
 spent 5
hours
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. As for reading, the difference was small, with
women
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 spending 7
hours
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 and
men
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 6
hours
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 per
week
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. Looking at the other activities, watching TV took up 14
hours
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 per
week
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 for
men
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, compared with 12
hours
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 for
women
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. Gardening showed a similar trend, with the figure for
men
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 being twice that of
women
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 (4 and 2
hours
Use synonyms
 respectively).

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words hours, week, men, women, time with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "compares" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "difference" was used 2 times.
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