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Writing Samples
Band 3

Some people believe that it is the resposibility of individuals to take care of their own health and diet. Others however believe that governments should make sure that their citizens have a healthy diet. Diacuss both views and give your opinion.

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Introduction
It is
argurable
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arguable
 that
people
Use synonyms
's
diet
Use synonyms
 should be controlled by themselves or by the
governments
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.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss both viewpoints and provide a concluding view.
Body paragraph 1
On the
first
Correct determiner usage
one
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 hand, each person is responsible for paying close attention to their
diet
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. The reason for
this
Linking Words
 is that
people
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 have diverse preferences when it comes to eating.
For instance
Linking Words
,
Some
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some
show examples
people
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 are allergic to certain
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food
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foods
show examples
, other
people
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 don't. The only way to create a
diet
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that is
Linking Words
 suitable for you and your health is to follow your
body
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body's
show examples
 needs, which can only be done by you.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some
people
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 believe that
governments
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 have
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
control over their
citizen
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citizens'
show examples
 source of
food
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,
Add a semicolon
;
show examples
therefore
Linking Words
, they should make sure their
people
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 have access to a healthy
diet
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. The authorities can make rules for the
food
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 industry.
This
Linking Words
include
Correct subject-verb agreement
includes
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 the production, process and sale of
food
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 products.
Body paragraph 3
However
Linking Words
,
governments
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 can only interfere with the quality of
food
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 products, not how
people
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 will consume them.
Therefore
Linking Words
, in my opinion, the main responsibility of creating a healthy
diet
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 mainly depends on individuals.
Conclusion
In conclusion, each person has to make sure that he or she is eating healthy. The
governments
Use synonyms
 can only protect the source of
food
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 by creating a strict framework on the industry, but they cannot interfere with
people
Use synonyms
's eating
choice
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choices
show examples
 and
habit
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habits
show examples
.

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task response
You discuss both sides and give your own view. To make your answer stronger, explain more fully why a person can choose healthy food and why the state should act. Add one clear example for each side.
task response
Your main view is clear: people have the main duty for their own diet. Say this more clearly in the first part, then keep the same view in the last part.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear order: first view, second view, your view, and a last part. Use linking words more carefully. Write “On the one hand” and “On the other hand” as a pair.
coherence and cohesion
Some ideas need more support. For example, after saying the state can make rules for food firms, explain how this can help people, such as by making food safer or by showing what is in it.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid repeating “people” and “diet” too often. You can sometimes use “they”, “citizens”, “food choices”, or “eating habits” to make the writing flow better.
task response
You answer all parts of the question: you show both views and state your own view.
coherence and cohesion
The opening and last parts are present, and the last part matches your main view.
coherence and cohesion
The two main body parts are easy to follow because each one focuses on one side of the topic.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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