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Band 3.5

The number of children that read books for fun has dropped dramatically in recent years. What are the reasons for this? How can we encourage children to read more?

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Introduction
The issue of
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number
Add an article
the number
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 of
children
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that
Correct pronoun usage
who
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 read
books
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 for fun
dropped
Verb problem
has dropped
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 dramatically
has
Correct word choice
and has
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 been the subject of considerable debate in recent years.
This
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 essay will examine the causes of
decreasing
Replace the word
the decrease in
 the
number
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 of
children
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 who read
books
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, and offer methods to encourage
children
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 to read
books
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.
Body paragraph 1
One major cause of dropping dramatically of the
number
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 of
children
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 who read
books
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 is that the
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number
Check wording
use
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 of digital
technology
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are
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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 increased. The main reason is that
children
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 nowadays
using the
Wrong verb form
use
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 digital
technology
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 for a long
of
Change preposition
apply
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time
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, so it is
diffecult
Correct your spelling
difficult
 for them to find
time
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 to read
books
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.
For instance
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, if a young girl spends a lot of
time
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 watching TV or playing video games, she will forget about reading
books
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.
Furthermore
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, many
children
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 think reading
books
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 is a
bored
Correct word choice
boring
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 activity.
Body paragraph 2
There are many ways to support
children
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to read
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in reading
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books
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.
First,
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the schools should added class for reading
books
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, so that it will require
for
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apply
show examples
each child to read
books
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 every day.
As a result
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, many students will gain reading skills, and they will boost their knowledge. Another way is that parents should not give their
children
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technology
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any
Change preposition
at any
show examples
time
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 because
technology
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 can affect their
children
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 negatively.
Conclusion
To sum up
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, supporting
children
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 to read
books
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 is an important thing in recent years.
In addition
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, decreasing the
number
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 of
children
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 who read
books
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 is a pressing issue that will impact the humenity in the future.

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task response
Answer both parts more fully. You give reasons and ways to help, but each main idea needs more detail. Explain why screens make books less fun, and explain how parents and schools can make reading a daily habit.
task response
Use clearer main ideas. For example, say that games and videos are fast and fun, so books may seem slow. Then say that book time at school and reading with parents can help children enjoy books.
task response
Give more real examples. Your example of a girl watching TV is useful. Add an example of a school reading time, a library visit, or a parent reading with a child before bed.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear four-part plan: start, reasons, ways to help, and end. Keep this plan, but make the first sentence of each body part more clear and direct.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple words such as “because”, “so”, “also”, “for example”, and “as a result”. Make sure each link shows the right meaning.
coherence and cohesion
Use the same key words in a clear way. Write “the number of children who read for fun has fallen” rather than “dropping dramatically of the number”. This will make your ideas easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Make the end match the two questions. State the main reasons again, then state the best ways to help. Do not add a very broad point about all people in the future without support.
task response
You answer both questions by giving causes and ways to help children read more.
task response
You include a clear example about time spent on TV and video games.
coherence and cohesion
The essay uses separate parts for the causes and the ways to help, so the reader can follow the main plan.
coherence and cohesion
You use helpful link words such as “For instance”, “Furthermore”, and “As a result”.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Proliferation
  • Screen-based entertainment
  • Deprioritizing
  • Storytelling
  • Extracurricular activities
  • Underfunded
  • Affordability
  • Curriculums
  • Foster
  • Digital-native generation
  • Gamify
  • Community-driven
  • Diverse collection
  • Milestones
  • Incentivize
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