The number of children that read books for fun has dropped dramatically in recent years. What are the reasons for this? How can we encourage children to read more?

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Introduction

These days, the number of children who read books

declined

Verb problem

has declined

show examples

significantly. The

emerge

Replace the word

emergence

of new developed technology,

such

Linking Words

phone

Check wording

phones

show examples

laptop

Check wording

laptops

show examples

, and tablet can cause

the

Correct article usage

show examples

lack of

child's

Check wording

encouragement for children's

show examples

encouraging on hobby. In my opinion, parents must not limit the

time

Use synonyms

Change preposition

apply

show examples

their kids

which spending

Wrong verb form

spend

show examples

in front of

display

Add an article

the display

show examples

, and they have to find

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

new ways

how create

Verb problem

to encourage

show examples

kids encouraging on book.

Body paragraph 1

Nowadays,

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

time

Use synonyms

management is the most important skill which is needed for almost all people, and

new

Add an article

the new

show examples

generation should be the main group who need it more than

other

Fix the agreement mistake

others

show examples

However

Linking Words

, electronic devices are

general

Add an article

a general

show examples

threat to their mindset and cause unwanted effects.

In addition

Linking Words

, they spend a huge amount of

time

Use synonyms

Change preposition

show examples

needless activity.

For example

Linking Words

, doomscrolling is one of the most common

problem

Check wording

problems

show examples

that takes much more

time

Use synonyms

than the real necessary activity.

Linking Words

Due to

Correct word choice

Because

show examples

they can get a dopamine effect from

internet

Add an article

the internet

show examples

make situation

Verb problem

becomes more

show examples

difficult.

Body paragraph 2

The views like "taking limits

Change preposition

show examples

the

time

Use synonyms

spending in internet by adults"

are

Verb problem

show examples

not provide the right impact. For modern problems are necessary to find

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

various

type

Check wording

types

show examples

solution

Check wording

solutions

show examples

For instance

Linking Words

, in our problem, the parents can give small gifts or encouraging words whenever

kid

Add an article

the kid

show examples

read

Correct subject-verb agreement

reads

show examples

as they wish

for

Punctuation problem

show examples

just

relax

Verb problem

to relax

show examples

. With possitive solution for either edge can cause

Add an article

a more

show examples

excellent effect for

child's

Add an article

the child's

show examples

mindset and make a statement that

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

reading books for entertainment is great and

benefical

Correct your spelling

beneficial

Linking Words

Also

Add a comma

Also,

show examples

the

parent

Check wording

parents

show examples

should be

a pride for

Replace the word

proud of

their kids, and try to spend

time

Use synonyms

for kid's hobby.

Conclusion

In conclusion, I believe that the number of people who

reads

Correct subject-verb agreement

read

show examples

books for just entertainment will increase.

Nevertheless

Linking Words

, our involving for encouraging birth is important and necessary.

bellazhanka

Nov 3, 2026

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response

Answer both parts in a more direct way. Give clear reasons first, such as phone games, short videos, and less time with books. Then give clear ways to help, such as a daily reading time, fun books, and adults reading with children.

task response

Make your main ideas easy to understand. The idea about not limiting screen time is not clear and may not help children read more. Explain why each idea will work.

task response

Use more real and clear examples. For example, a parent can let a child choose a comic or story book and read for twenty minutes before bed.

coherence and cohesion

Use a simple plan: introduction, one paragraph about reasons, one paragraph about ways to help, and a conclusion. Start each paragraph with one clear main idea.

coherence and cohesion

Link ideas with clear words such as "First", "Also", "For example", "As a result", and "Finally". This will help the reader follow your ideas.

coherence and cohesion

Keep the same focus in each paragraph. The first body paragraph should only explain why children read less. The second should only explain how parents and schools can help.

coherence and cohesion

Write clearer sentences. For example, instead of "Due to they can get a dopamine effect from internet", write "Children may spend more time online because it is fun and easy."

task response

You discuss both the causes of less reading and ways parents can help children read more.

task response

You give a useful example of giving kind words or small gifts when a child reads.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay has an introduction, two main paragraphs, and a conclusion.

coherence and cohesion

You use some linking words, such as "However", "In addition", "For example", and "In conclusion".

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
37
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

4.0

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

280 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Proliferation
Screen-based entertainment
Deprioritizing
Storytelling
Extracurricular activities
Underfunded
Affordability
Curriculums
Foster
Digital-native generation
Gamify
Community-driven
Diverse collection
Milestones
Incentivize

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The number of children that read books for fun has dropped dramatically in recent years. What are the reasons for this? How can we encourage children to read more?

Some people argue that it is not wise for an industry to replace its experienced but old workers with new and young yet inexperienced individuals. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In many modern societies, grandchildren rarely spend quality time with their grandparents. This trend can lead to several negative consequences, particularly in terms of cultural values and language preservation.