IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some employers want their employees to be contactable for work purposes at all times. Does this attitude have more advantages than disadvantages.

6.0 / 9
Band scoreView breakdown ↓
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Introduction
In recent times, it is common for the majority of employers to expect their staff to be accessible at all times.
While
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 constant availability may be essential in certain critical and emergency-based fields,
l
Correct your spelling
I
 completely believe that its drawbacks outweigh the benefits.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand, being accessible outside standard working
hours
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 is undoubtedly necessary in primary sectors where emergencies occur unexpectedly. In
spesific
Correct your spelling
specific
 high-responsibility jobs
such
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 as healthcare, emergency services, or IT management, unexpected situations require prompt responses to unforeseen events. In these scenarios, postponed communication could lead to significant damage.
For instance
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, a member of the healthcare staff might be called late at night to manage emergency cases.
Nevertheless
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,
this
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 requirement must be clearly defined prior to employment so that both employer and employee
aware
Verb problem
are aware
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 of their duties and compensated for being on call.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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, the drawbacks of
this
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 policy are far more substantial, as it severely violates an employee’s private life. Unless a job involves life-threatening emergencies, expecting staff to be on call during their personal time creates mental stress, eventually leading to severe workplace burnout.
Furthermore
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, official working
hours
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 are established to ensure a fair exchange of
labor
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labour
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 and salary in a professional environment. Reaching out to employees beyond these agreed
hours
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 without additional payment disrespects their personal boundaries and disrupts an individual’s work-life balance, significantly reducing their
overall
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 job satisfaction.
Conclusion
In conclusion,
while
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 being constantly available is essential in
some
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apply
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certain critical and emergency-driven sectors,
l
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I
 maintain that point of view
making
Punctuation problem
, making
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this
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 a general expectation for all employees has more detrimental effects than benefits. Employers should respect non-working
hours
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 to prevent burnout and foster a balanced, productive working environment.

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task response
Your answer gives a clear view: this work rule has more bad points than good points. To make it stronger, explain more fully why the good points are limited to only a few kinds of work.
task response
Your health care example fits well. Add one more clear example from a normal job, such as an office worker getting calls at night, to show why this rule is unfair in most jobs.
task response
You mention stress, burnout, poor work-life balance, and less job joy. Link these ideas more clearly to work results, for example: tired workers may make more mistakes and do less good work.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear four-part form: opening, good points, bad points, and ending. Keep this plan in future essays.
coherence and cohesion
The first body part starts with a useful main idea, but the move from emergency jobs to pay and job rules is a little sudden. Add a short link such as “This is fair only when clear rules are in place.”
coherence and cohesion
Use simple, direct links between ideas. For example, after “mental stress”, add “As a result, workers may feel tired and unhappy at work.” This will make the chain of ideas easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid repeating “at all times”, “on call”, and “outside working hours” too close together. You can sometimes use “after work” or “during personal time” instead.
task response
You answer both sides of the question and make your own view clear from the start to the end.
task response
The example of health care staff being called at night is relevant and helps explain when being easy to reach can be needed.
coherence and cohesion
Each body part has one main focus: needed contact in emergency work, then the harm to private life in most work.
coherence and cohesion
The ending clearly restates your main view and gives a practical idea for employers.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • around-the-clock availability
  • urgent matter
  • respond promptly
  • customer satisfaction
  • protect a company’s reputation
  • remote workforce
  • different time zones
  • work-life balance
  • personal time
  • constant interruptions
  • feel under pressure
  • mental well-being
  • sleep quality
  • employee burnout
  • family commitments
  • clear boundaries
  • out-of-hours contact
  • genuine emergency
  • long-term productivity
  • reasonable working hours
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