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Band 7

The pie charts indicate changes in the proportions of energy produced in a country from 1983 to 2003.

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The pie charts indicate changes in the proportions of energy produced in a country from 1983 to 2003.
The pie charts show the changes in the percentage of
energy
Use synonyms
 produced from five different sources in a country between 1983 and 2003
Overall
Linking Words
, oil was the most popular
energy
Use synonyms
source
Use synonyms
 in both years. Natural gas and nuclear power increased over the period,
while
Linking Words
 coal showed a big decrease
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 hydropower stayed the same. In 1983, oil produced the largest amount of
energy
Use synonyms
 at 42%. Coal was the second largest
source
Use synonyms
 at 23%, followed by nuclear power at 20%. Natural gas made up 11%,
while
Linking Words
 hydropower had the smallest share at only 4%. By 2003, the proportion of oil dropped slightly to 38%, but it was still the main
source
Use synonyms
 of
energy
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. Coal dropped significantly by 10% to 13%.
In contrast
Linking Words
, natural gas almost doubled to reach 21%, making it the third most used
source
Use synonyms
. Nuclear power
also
Linking Words
 rose to 24% and became the second highest.
Lastly
Linking Words
, the percentage of hydropower remained unchanged at 4%

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 75%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words energy, source with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "changes" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "show" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • accounted for
  • made up
  • the proportion of
  • rose from ... to ...
  • fell from ... to ...
  • increased slightly
  • decreased sharply
  • the largest source
  • the second largest source
  • by contrast
  • while
  • respectively
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